Mending the Fences
by Style Marshlovski
Summary: Stan is in a much better place now that he's with Gary, but can his super best friendship with Kyle still be salvaged? Sequel to "Cynicism Is So Gay" - couples: Stary, Bunny / friendships: Style, Kyman, Kenman - rated T to be safe.
1. You Can't Go Home Again

This is a continuation of the storyline from my first fanfic "Cynicism Is So Gay." You should read that one before reading this (it's a one-shot, so it won't take too long).

I love reviews! If you like it, or have some constructive criticism/suggestions, please let me know ;)

Disclaimer: I still don't own _South Park_.

* * *

**_You Can't Go Home Again_**

Things really began to turn around for Stan when he and Gary reconnected. They spent nearly every weekday together after school, either at Gary's house or Stan's apartment. Stan usually preferred the former because it gave him a chance to see the Harrisons again. Their tight-knit unit was a welcome contrast to Stan's "broken" family, and they always made him feel at home.

Stan still wasn't sure what exactly he and Gary were to each other. He found the entire situation more than a little confusing. He knew he'd liked it when Gary had kissed him, but what did that mean? He had never thought of himself as gay. After all, he'd been madly in love with Wendy, who was technically still his girlfriend, even though they hadn't spent any personal time together since he'd gone all cynical. And if he really loved _Gary_ now, how could he be honest about it? He wasn't ready to make that kind of statement publicly, so school definitely wasn't the place to show affection. He never tried being affectionate at Gary's house because he couldn't be sure how his Mormon family would react to seeing their son or brother with another boy (although Gary always sat as close as humanly possible to Stan whenever the Harrisons played board games). And there was no way he'd try anything around his own family or Shelly would never let him hear the end of it.

"Stan?" he heard Gary say.

"Wha~?" he was brought out of his trance.

"You were zoning out for a while. What are you thinking about?"

Stan sat up on Gary's bed. "What are we, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are we…dating?"

"I don't know… I haven't really thought about it. Do you want to be?"

"I'm not really sure what I want. This whole thing is so new to me."

"Me too," Gary placed his hand on Stan's. "Maybe we can discover what we want together," he rubbed his thumb in a small circle on Stan's hand.

"This seems pretty good," Stan grinned.

Then Gary gave his award-worthy, national toothpaste commercial smile, and Stan couldn't help myself. He placed his hand behind Gary's neck, closed his eyes and crashed their lips together. Gary kissed back with just as much passion. When they finally ran out of breath, Stan collapsed and lay his head on Gary's lap. Stan smiled and closed his eyes again as Gary removed his red poofball hat and lightly stroked his hair.

Stan decided it was better not to overthink things. Maybe he didn't have to know exactly where things were going with Gary. All that mattered was right here, right now, he was happy.

…

Playing things by ear was working out pretty well for Stan and Gary. They had even more time to spend together over the holiday break, which they took full advantage of. Stan ended up having his first sleepover at Gary's house after Christmas. During the family game night, Gary took his usual spot right next to Stan, while the noirette looked around nervously at the Harrison clan.

"Gary?" Mr. Harrison asked.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You and Stan sure seem to like being close to each other."

"Oh, God…" Stan put a hand over his eyes in dread.

"What don't you boys ever hold hands?"

"Huh?" Stan dropped his hand.

"We've never even seen you hug," Mrs. Harrison added.

Stan glanced at Gary. "They're surprised we're _not_ hugging and holding hands?"

"You two are dating, aren't you?" asked Gary's big brother Mark.

Gary felt beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. "You all knew that?"

"We aren't blind, guys."

"Was it supposed to be a secret or something?" asked his older sister Jennifer.

"Well…" Stan rubbed the back of his neck. "I was afraid you might get upset."

"Why would we do that, Stan?" asked Gary's little brother David.

"I think I know what happened," said Mr. Harrison. "Stan, it's important to understand that people don't always fit every stereotype of their religion. Not all Mormons are against same sex relationships, the same way not all Catholics are."

"You're a wonderful boy, Stan," said Mrs. Harrison, "and we're proud to have you date our son."

"Gee, thanks," Stan smiled a little embarrassed over his preconceived notions.

"Yay for Stan!" cheered Gary's baby sister Amanda.

"And you boys don't have to be afraid to hold hands or show any kind of affection around us," his father assured them.

"Thanks, Dad," Gary smiled.

The whole family stared at Stan and Gary in anticipation.

"Well?" his mother pushed.

The boys looked at each other uncomfortably, then feeling the pressure, awkwardly took one another's hand.

"Hooray!" the family cheered, while the two of them blushed in humiliation.

When they were lying in Gary's bed that night, Stan was still a little shell-shocked from the events of the evening. "That…was kinda weird."

"Yeah, my family can get a little too involved sometimes."

"I guess it's still better than if they didn't accept it, though."

"Definitely," Gary agreed. "Do you think _your_ family knows about us, too?"

"Not likely."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I'll think about it." Stan really had no intention of letting his family know he was seeing a boy, but he wanted to give Gary a more hopeful response to hold on to.

…

Stan knew that something different was going on when he came home from Gary's on New Year's Eve to find his dad and grandpa visiting the apartment.

"Oh, good, Stanley, you're here," his mom greeted him. "We have some great news for you and your sister."

"What is it, already?" Shelly asked impatiently.

"Well," said Randy, "your mom and I talked things over, and we decided to get back together!"

"Really?" Stan lit up.

"You bet, champ."

"And your father already rented a moving van so we can go back to our old home tomorrow!"

"Dude, sweet!"

"Make sure you pack tonight," Randy told them. "We'll be leaving bright and early in the morning."

"Oh, boy!" Shelly cheered. "I have to go online and tell my dear, sweet Amir the good news!" she ran off.

"You know," Stan said, "I wasn't gonna say anything before, but now I think I'd like to share some good news of my own."

"What's that, Stanley?" asked Sharon.

"Gary isn't just my friend anymore; we're dating now!"

Randy's eyes bulged out and his mouth practically fell to the floor.

"Oh, that's wonderful, sweetie! I'm so happy for you!"

"Really?"

"Of course."

"What do _you_ think, Dad?"

Randy stood frozen in his state of shock.

"Your father's so excited he's speechless!" Sharon covered.

"Aw, this is so great! I can't believe I was worried about how you'd react. I'm gonna go start packing now!" Stan ran to his room beaming.

"I told you Billy would turn into a poofter if you let him practice that frou-frou circus act," Marvin chimed in.

"Not now, Grandpa," Sharon dismissed her father-in-law. "Randy? Are you OK?"

Without a word, he turned and headed for their bedroom.

Sharon sighed and followed a beat behind. She found her husband facing the window, completely stone-faced. "I know it's hard to accept," she said, "but we need to be supportive right now."

"It's wrong, Sharon."

"How can we be sure of that? Gary's been monumental in helping Stan get through these past couple of months. Maybe they really are right for each other."

"Are you listening to yourself?" he spun around to face her. "We had plans for them! They were supposed to get married!"

"That was _our _dream, Randy. It may not be his."

"They would've been our in-laws. How awesome would that have been?"

"I know this isn't exactly what he'd hoped for, but we have to let Stan make his own choices about who he wants to date."

Randy shook his head in disappointment. "It seemed like such a sure thing, you know?"

"I know."

"I really thought they had a shot together now that he isn't hanging around that Testaburger girl so much. I mean, honestly: what does Gary have that Kyle doesn't?"

Sharon shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe Stan and Kyle were just meant to be friends."

"I refuse to believe that," he got up to leave the room. "They belong together!"

"Randy, do not get in the middle of this," Sharon warned him.

He scoffed. "I wasn't gonna do that, Sharon, I was just trying to express my feelings! Gawl!"

Randy walked into the kitchen and made sure no one was looking before he pulled out his cell phone and press the speed dial. "Gerald?" he said. "We've got a problem."


	2. Talk to Him

Thank you to all my lovely readers, reviewers, followers, and favoriters (if that's a word). Now, let's see the story unfold…

* * *

**_Talk to Him_**

As morning dawned on January 1, Randy parked the moving rental in front of the Marshes' new old house, while Sharon and the rest of the family arrived shortly after and pulled in the driveway.

"Wake up, everybody," Sharon told her passengers. "We're home."

Stan rubbed the sleep from his eye as he got out and gazed upon the familiar address. "We're really here," he smiled tiredly.

"A fresh start to the new year," Randy observed. "Who knows what new opportunities could be waiting right around the corner?"

As if on cue, Gerald Broflovski pulled up with his firstborn son in the car. "Well, hey there, strangers!" he greeted. "I just happened to be driving by, and who should I happen to see here but my favorite old neighbors the Marshes?!"

"_New _neighbors now," said Randy. "We just moved back in!"

"You're kidding!" Gerald acted surprised. "I had no idea! Did you hear that, Kyle? Your best friend Stanley's moved back home, right here where he belongs!"

"Awesome," Kyle said with disinterest.

"I'll bet you missed your best pal Kyle a whole lot, huh, Stan?" Randy asked.

"I dunno," he mumbled.

"Don't be rude, Kyle. Say hello to Stan."

"Hi," he said straight-faced.

"'Sup?" said Stan.

Kyle shrugged. "Dad, can we go now?" he muttered.

"Why don't you ask Stan how his holiday break's been?"

"Because I already know it's been: _shitty_," he emphasized the last word.

"Actually, Mr. Broflovski, my holiday break's been awesome. See, Kyle wouldn't know that because Kyle thinks he knows _everything_, so he doesn't bother to check with anyone."

"Well, _Dad_, frankly, I don't really see the point in checking with someone when all they do is complain about how their life isn't a field of daisies."

"You boys aren't still mad at each other, are you?" asked Gerald. "I say it's time to bury the hatchet, Kyle."

"Yeah, Stanley, why don't you go kiss and make up?"

"I have to unpack," Stan turned away to start gathering his belongings.

"And I need to go back to sleep," Kyle told his dad. "I wanna be fully awake when Cartman and I play Xbox Live."

Stan cringed when he heard that, but he quickly brushed it off and continued moving things from the truck to the front porch.

"I guess we'll catch up another time," Gerald sighed.

"Maybe you all can come by tomorrow after school gets out," Randy suggested.

"I'll talk to Sheila about it. See you later, neighbors!" they drove off.

"Bye!" Randy smiled and waved. He turned around to start unloading the truck when he caught Sharon's glare. "You OK, honey?" he asked in a sweet, cooing voice.

"What was that?" she asked with a serious tone.

"What?" he asked dumbly.

"How did Gerald and Kyle just happen to be passing by right after we got here at 6:30 in the morning on New Year's Day?!"

"You don't think I set the whole thing up, do you?" he asked defensively.

"And you didn't?"

Randy thought for a moment. "Not the _whole _thing. Gerald helped a little."

"You two are unbelievable! Why couldn't you just let Stan and Kyle work out their own problems?"

"You wouldn't mind our meddling if it had worked."

"Well, we'll never know because now they're angrier than ever! Nice going, Randy!" Sharon helped Marvin into his wheelchair. "Come on, Grandpa."

"I wanna die!"

…

Stan decided to call Gary after he had finished moving all his stuff back into his old bedroom.

"'Morning, sunshine," Gary answered cheerily.

"Hey."

"Are you all settled in now?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Kyle came by with his dad earlier."

"Oh? Did you guys talk?"

"Barely."

Gary could hear the bitterness in Stan's voice. "What happened?"

"He was a total dick…er…jerk. He thinks he's _so_ smart. Well, I've got news for him: when it comes to acting like a civilized human being, he doesn't know sh—poop!"

"Yikes," Gary winced. "I guess this wasn't quite the happy homecoming you wanted."

"Thanks to Kyle," Stan griped. "Why does he have to ruin everything all the time?"

"I'm sorry, Stan. It has to be really tough fighting with a friend like this."

"Some friend _he_ is…"

"Do you want my opinion?"

"I guess."

"I think you should try to talk to him again."

"Are you crazy?"

"You must still care about Kyle, or you wouldn't feel this bad."

"Why should _I _be the one to go crawling back? _He_ abandoned _me_!"

"It's not about who's right or wrong, Stan; it's about letting go of all these hurt feelings. It would kill me if you let them drag you down to where you were a couple months ago."

Stan let out a heavy sigh. "I'll think about it."

Gary smiled. "Seeing as you said that about telling your family we're dating, I'll take it as a 'yes.'"

"Eh… Listen, I'm gonna take a nap; I'm exhausted. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"OK. Sweet dreams."

"Only of you," Stan mentally winked.

…

That afternoon, Kyle sat in front of his console playing a co-op first-person shooter.

"Oh, dude, get that commie on your left," he heard Cartman's voice. "Heh heh…on the left…heh heh heh…'cause he's a Communist! AHAHAHA!"

Kyle held the headset away from his ears. "Jesus, Cartman, it's not _that _funny."

"My sense of humor is just too sophisticated for your feeble little mind."

"Right… I saw Stan today."

"Yeah? What's that emo hippie fag been up to?"

"How would I know? All he did was call me a fuckin' obnoxious know-it-all. He wouldn't even address me! He just acts all passive-aggressive, talking about me to my dad like I'm not even there!"

"I can't say I'm surprised. Stan's always been a little bitch—never facing things head-on like a real man. If you want my advice, I'd say you should be the bigger person and talk to him."

"No way, dude! _He's_ the cynical asshole who started this whole thing!"

"It's not about who's right or wrong, Kahl; it's about Stan being a negative Nancy who has sand in his vagina. He deserves for you to give him a piece of your mind."

"I dunno… talking to him just seems like more trouble than it's worth. I don't want his pessimism bringing me down." Kyle sighed. "I just wish things were more like they used to be with us."

"Kahl, don't do this to yourself!" Cartman spoke with an urgent tone. "Stan showed his true colors today, and you do NOT need a friend like that in your life!"

"Mm…I don't really feel like playing anymore. Sorry, Cartman," Kyle put his headset down and signed off.

"Kahl, NO!" Cartman's character was suddenly ambushed, and Kyle wasn't there to help him. He threw his controller down in fury. "Dammit, Stan, you let the commies win! Kahl's _my _best friend now, and I'm not gonna let some no-good filthy left-wing hippie steal him away!"

…

The next morning, students returned to South Park Elementary. Stan didn't talk to Kyle during class, lunch or recess. He was content to let the whole day go by without giving him a second glance, but when school was over, he received a pleading look from Gary. He rolled his eyes and tapped Kyle on the shoulder.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Can we talk?"

Kyle cast his eyes downward. "Fine."

Cartman saw them heading outside the classroom, so he ran to catch up. "Kahl," he panted, "Mr. Garrison wants you to do a presentation to celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday this month. He told me to make sure you see him ASAP and ask him about the racial subtext of Tootie wearing roller skates on _The Facts of Life_."

"Great," he groaned. "I'll be right back."

When Kyle was out of earshot, Cartman said, "Good, that'll buy us some time."

"What do you want, Cartman? I'm trying to talk to Kyle."

Cartman pulled Stan aside. "Listen, Stan, I didn't wanna have to tell you this, but Kahl's been spending a _lot_ of time with Wendy over the break. I think it's getting pretty seriously."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Dude, I wish I was. Wendy was all upset when she found out you got ass burgers, so Kahl was trying to comfort her, and I guess it progressed from there, man. I just thought you should know the kind of person you're dealing with before you go crawling back to that Jew rat."

Stan shook his head in disbelief. "You know what? They can have each other for all I care. I'm done," he walked away to catch the bus.

A few minutes later, Kyle came walking out with a tall pile of _Diff'rent Strokes _scripts highlighting its racially-charged moments. "What the hell happened to Stan?"

"Probably went off to burn his bra with all the other tree-huggers."

"What a fuckin' waste of time this was! If I never talk to Stan again, it'll be too soon!"

"Took the words right outta my mouth," Cartman grinned to himself.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own _South Park_, _The Facts of Life_ or _Diff'rent Strokes_.


	3. No Homo

I decided to put Sparky in this chapter to acknowledge the birthday of my dog Peaches (January 16, 1997 ~ April 6, 2006).

* * *

**_No Homo_**

Stan and Gary got off the bus together and walked into the Marsh residence.

"Hey, sport," Randy greeted him.

"Dad? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"The earth will still be here tomorrow. I took the day off so I could be around when Gerald and Kyle come over."

"I think Kyle would rather be spending time with Wendy," Stan spat.

"Wha~?"

"Yeah, he's dating my old girlfriend and didn't even tell me. What a pal!" He marched up to his room with Gary in tow.

Randy sighed and called Gerald again.

"Hello?"

"Why didn't you tell me Gary Harrison wasn't the only problem?" he yelled.

"What are you talking about, Randy?"

"Stan just told me that Kyle's going out with Wendy Testaburger now!"

"What?! That's impossible! He never told us anything about it!"

"Well, apparently, today's after school get-together will have to take a back seat. I think we'd better pay the Testaburgers a little visit."

…

Up in Stan's room, he and Gary sat on his bed while his gay dog Sparky lay at their feet. "I can't believe Kyle would do this to me," Stan grumbled.

Gary got a little worried. "You don't…still like Wendy, do you?"

"No, of course not," Stan hugged Gary. "I'm with you because I _wanna _be. It just makes me mad that he would date her behind my back. I mean, as far as he knew, she was still my girlfriend. What kind of friend would do that without even coming to me first?"

"Well…are you sure Wendy still thought you were her boyfriend?"

"I dunno why she wouldn't. We never officially broke up."

"But you haven't spent time with her in months. Maybe she took that as a message."

"Well, then she should've talked to me about it."

"The way _you _talked to _her_?" Gary pointed out his hypocrisy.

"That's different!"

"How?"

"I can't tell her about us! What if she told her friends, and it got around to the whole school that I'm…?" Stan couldn't bring himself to say that one word he now so clearly identified with.

Gary took his hand. "It isn't easy being different—not living up to people's expectations, or even your own," he empathized. "I struggled a lot trying to come to terms with being…this way. It's still a struggle sometimes."

Stan nodded. "Sometimes it feels like there's nobody who really understands what it's like."

"But there _is_," Gary pointed out. "You have me, and I have you, and we understand what each other is dealing with."

"And Sparky," Stan added. "He understands, too. Don't you, boy?"

Sparky jumped up in Stan's lap and licked his face, while Gary pet the dog's furry back.

…

That evening, Wendy's father answered to the urgent banging on his front door. "Can I help you?"

"Tell your daughter to back off," Gerald answered.

"Excuse me?"

"Look," said Randy, "I put up with her dating Stanley because I knew he was just going through a phase."

"But now she's trying to become his competition for my son's affection, and that's where we draw the line."

"Well, I'll…certainly talk to her about this."

"We appreciate your cooperation, Mr. Testaburger," Randy told him. "We'll be in touch."

He closed the door and went up to his daughter's room. "Wendy?" he knocked.

"Come in."

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi, Dad."

"Do you think we can have a little father-daughter talk?"

"All right."

"Now, I know that you aren't a baby and you've dated boys before."

"Yeah…"

"But you need to understand that not all boys are dating material. Some of them have filthy, unspeakable things on their minds…"

"Dad…" Wendy rolled her eyes.

"…Which is why I think that dating a gay boy is a great idea!"

"What?" she deadpanned.

"They're attentive, they go shopping with you, and you don't have to worry about them pressuring you to do something you're not ready for."

"Uh huh…"

"I just wanted you to know that I'm in your corner, Wendy, and I'd be thrilled if you brought a gay boy home to meet the family. Just…maybe try dating one who doesn't already have a prospective boyfriend. That could cause some issues, you know?"

"OK…"

"Glad we had this talk, honey. Goodnight," he walked out, leaving Wendy with a confused stare.

…

The next morning at school, Wendy walked up to Kyle while he was gathering books from his locker. "Hi, Kyle."

"Hey, Wendy. What's up?"

"Do you know how Stan's doing? I haven't seen him since his birthday."

"I honestly don't know any more than you do. Yesterday, he said he wanted to talk to me, but then he disappeared before saying anything."

"I'm really worried about him, Kyle. I thought things would get better now that his parents are back together, but he still seems so distant."

Suddenly, somebody ran right into Wendy from behind, but Kyle caught her before she hit the ground.

"Sorry, Testicle-burger," Cartman fake apologized. As Stan was coming down the hall, Cartman ran up to him yelling, "No, Stan! Don't look!"

While Cartman pretended to block his view, Stan peered around him and saw Kyle embracing Wendy.

"Sorry you have to see that, dude. Boy, he just can't keep his hands off her, can he? They could at least have the decency to get a room."

Stan felt sick to his stomach from their public display of affection and threw up right there.

Cartman stared at the floor in astonishment. "Aw, you had Cap'n Crunch this morning? Lucky!"

…

When Wendy got home that afternoon, her mother was waiting for her in the living room. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie. Do you remember what your father told you last night?"

"I should date gay boys, but only the single ones."

"Wrong. You should _never _date a gay boy."

"Really?" she asked in mock surprise.

"I know having a gay boyfriend sounds attractive in theory, what with all the attention and the trips to the mall. But eventually, his urges will take over and he'll end up dumping you to fulfill his own needs. And if enough gay boys dump you, people will start to think _you_ made them that way. Then you'll never be able to find your true love because all the straight boys will be too afraid that you'll turn _them _gay, too."

"Right…"

"Your father means well, Wendy, but it's best if you come to me for dating advice from now on."

Wendy slowly headed upstairs to her bedroom. "I'm not sure what's going on, but I know Cartman is somehow responsible."

…

As recess started the next day, Stan was lingering at the exit to the playground when somebody bumped into his shoulder walking past him. "Uh, excuse _you_!" he shouted.

Kyle turned around and lifted his palms in the air. "Oops."

"Gee, Kyle, that was _almost _an apology."

"Maybe _you _should apologize first for walking out on our conversation the other day."

"You wanna talk walking out? How about you walking out on our friendship when I needed you the most!"

"Oh, like you never abandoned me before?"

"Name one time!"

"What about when the metrosexual fad hit, and Craig and those guys were picking on me for not wanting to be a part of it? I pleaded with you to help me, but you just turned your back on me and walked away! Then when the fad was over and I said how much you hurt me, you just called me a 'whiny little gay wad.'"

Stan was a little taken aback at hearing his homophobic remark repeated to him. "I don't remember that…"

"You know, you were only into being metrosexual because it was popular. You pretend to be _so _sensitive with all your self-righteous causes, but all you really care about is how much other people will admire you for them!"

"At least I try to make a real difference! All _you_ do is whine about how stupid something is when you don't agree with it! The only time you ever get involved in a cause is when it directly effects you!"

"That's not true!"

"Really? I don't seem to remember you rallying to get the Mountain Scouts to change their policy so Big Gay Al could get his job back as troop leader. Even Cartman got in on the action, but not you!"

"I'm not even in Mountain Scouts!"

"Exactly! It doesn't affect you, so why should you care about Big Gay Al?"

"I love Big Gay Al! And what you mean 'even Cartman'? He's treated me a lot better than you have these past couple of months!"

"So now you're defending him? His 'noble' causes have hurt you more than anybody!"

"At least Cartman is honest about what he believes! You'll get involved with anything if it'll earn you popularity points! I'm lucky this isn't Nazi Germany!" Kyle gasped in horror as soon as he realized what he'd just implied.

Stan just stood there unable to speak.

"Oh God… Stan, I…"

Stan's eyes welled up with tears, and he ran back inside crying.

"Stan, come back!" _What the fuck did I just do?_


	4. Unforgivable

**_Unforgivable_**

Stan didn't return to class after recess. Kyle was anxious for the bell to ring so he could find out what happened to him. When school finally ended, he took his chance. "Mr. Garrison?"

"Kyle, how's your Martin Luther King report coming along?"

"It's going all right."

"Are you sure you have enough information? Because I have some great examples of Archie Bunker's slow progression toward racial tolerance which perfectly parallel that of our country's."

"No, no! I'm fine!" Kyle waved his hands frantically. "I was just wondering if you knew where Stan went?"

"Yes, Nurse Gollum called me during recess and said Stanley went home with an upset stomach. Terrible—vomit everywhere, she told me, and apparently it was so painful he was in tears."

"Oh…" He stared at the floor in shame. Sure, Stan had a tendency to lose his lunch at the drop of a hat, but Kyle knew the real reason for his tears. "Thanks," he said softly as he left the classroom.

…

Kyle tried texting Stan the whole bus ride, but got no response. When he got home, he switched to calling him. Kyle was glad to hear it ringing because it meant Stan at least didn't turn his phone off, but his voicemail kicked in after just two rings, meaning Stan definitely didn't feel like talking to him.

"Stan, it's Kyle… I guess you knew that already, though. Can you call me when you get this message? I didn't mean what I said before; I was just mad… Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon. Bye."

Kyle waited restlessly for half an hour, occasionally glancing at his cell phone. He decided to try again. This time, Stan didn't even bother pushing the button to send him to voicemail.

"Stan, please call me back. I know you don't wanna talk to me right now, but just let me know that you're OK. I'm really getting worried. _Please_… Bye."

Kyle made a conscious attempt not to jump to conclusions. _He's upset, that's all. He isn't going Goth, and he isn't getting cynical again. _Kyle forced himself to lie down and breathe deeply to relax.

It must have worked better than he expected, because he woke up about an hour later to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He scrambled to answer it without even checking who the caller was. "Stan?"

"Dude, where are you?"

Kyle's excitement deflated. "Hey, Kenny."

"Cartman and I've been sitting in Krust E. Krotch's for like fifteen minutes… Wait, why did you think Stan was calling you?"

"I bumped into him at recess…literally."

"So you guys talked?"

"_Shouted_ is a better word. It was like the worst fight we've ever had," his voice started to break.

"What happened?"

Kyle sniffled. "I basically called him a Nazi-in-the-making."

"Dude…that's fucked up."

"I know," he groaned. "I just got so angry, and before I knew what I was saying, I just blurted it out!"

"Since he wasn't in class afterwards, I'm guessing he didn't take it very well."

"You should've seen the look on his face, Kenny. It was like he just saw his dog get hit by a car. Now he won't answer my texts or return my calls or anything." Tears were steaming down his cheeks. "How could I hurt him like that? What the hell's wrong with me?"

"Calm down, Kyle. Yeah, what you said was pretty harsh, but I don't think it's beyond fixing. Just give it a little time."

"Too much time's gone by already," Kyle composed himself. "I'm gonna go see Stan. I have to make things right between us."

"Um…I don't think Cartman will wait much longer. He just knocked over our table."

"Order without me. I'll be down a little later."

…

Kyle nervously knocked on the Marshes' front door.

"Oh, hello, Kyle," Sharon opened it. "This is a bit of a surprise."

"Hi, Mrs. Marsh. Can I see Stan?"

"Well, I'm afraid he isn't feeling very well right now."

"I know, and it's all my fault," he shook his head. "If you could, please just tell him that I'm sorry for everything I said, and that I just want things to be good with us again." He started to walk away defeated.

"Kyle," Sharon called, to which he turned his head back. "I think it would sound better coming from you," she gave a small smile.

Kyle lit up. "Thank you!" he gave her a quick hug, then raced up to the room he hadn't seen in more than two months. He knocked three times, but didn't hear anything. He quietly pushed open the door and saw Stan lying in bed, hugging Sparky and crying his eyes out. Kyle let out a small sigh, which made Sparky lift up his head.

The movement of his dog caught Stan's attention, and he frowned when he saw Kyle standing in his doorway. "What do you want?"

"We really need to talk, Stan."

"Haven't you said enough?"

"No… there's so much I should've said a long time ago." Kyle noticed Sparky sniffing him. "Not now, boy," he shooed him away. "What is it with him?" he chuckled.

"That's what dogs do, Kyle: they like to smell assholes."

"I guess I had that coming," he looked away.

"No shit," Stan teared up again. "You really think I would sell you out to be tortured or even killed because it was acceptable? After everything we've been through, is that what you really think of me?"

"No, I don't," Kyle cried. "I don't know why I said that. We were both yelling and putting each other down, and I guess I just took it too far. Of course I know you aren't a Nazi. You're a good person, Stan, and I know you'd never get involved in a cause you didn't believe in."

Stan sobbed into his hands. "I'm not so sure I _am _that good a person."

"What do you mean?"

He looked up at Kyle. "I _should _want to get involved in causes just to make a difference. But I _do _like the attention that comes with it. I like feeling important… I guess that's just another thing that'll send me to hell."

Kyle came and sat on the bed with him. "What are you talking about? Why would you go to hell?"

He shook his head with a frightened look in his eyes. "I can't tell you."

"Stan, you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, I won't look at you any differently."

Stan swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "I'm gay," he whispered.

Kyle squinted in confusion. "Did you say you're gay?"

"Pretty bad, huh?"

"No, I'm just a little surprised. I mean, you always seemed so crazy about Wendy."

"That's why I didn't want anybody to know. I'm supposed to be the perfect football captain with the perfect girlfriend. That's what everyone expects from me. But the harder I try, the more obvious it is that I'm nowhere near perfect."

"You don't _have _to be perfect, Stan. Take it from the whiny, self-interested Jew: no one is."

Stan laughed a little. "So you really don't think any less of me?"

"Because you're gay? Come on, Stan, give me a little credit. And give _yourself _a little credit, too. Do you really think you're going to hell for that?"

"I don't know."

"Well, do you think Sparky's going to hell?"

"All dogs go to heaven, Kyle. Remember the movie?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "OK, then what about Big Gay Al? Is he going to hell?"

Stan thought about Al's good nature. "He was so kind to Sparky—taking him into his big gay animal house when I was embarrassed about having a gay dog. Al's the one who showed me it's OK to be gay. I can't picture him in hell."

"And _I _can't picture _you _there, Stan. You're kind and compassionate, you care about animals, you always think of other people before yourself…and you're the best friend a guy could ever have."

Stan couldn't help but smile hearing that. "I've missed you, Kyle."

"So have I."

"Don't worry," he laughed. "I'm not gonna get all gay and hug you or anyth—" Before Stan could finish, Kyle wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. Stan was a little shocked at first, but he quickly let his guard down and hugged back.

Randy had just gotten home from work and was coming up the stairs to say hi to Stan, when he saw him and Kyle holding each other close. He ran back down excitedly shouting, "Sharon! Hey, Sharon, guess what?"

The boys finally let go. "Do you feel like staying for dinner?" Stan asked.

"I'm actually supposed to be with Cartman and Kenny at Krust E. Krotch's right now… Why don't you come with me?"

"I dunno… what if they don't wanna see me?"

"Sure they will! You're back to your old self now, so there's no problem."

"Well, I'm not _exactly_ my old self."

"Oh, yeah," Kyle laughed. "So is there anybody you like right now?"

Stan grinned shyly. "I've actually been seeing somebody for a little while."

"That's awesome, dude! Anyone I know?"

"Sort of: Gary Harrison."

Kyle furrowed his brow. "The Mormon kid? I thought you guys hated each other."

Stan shrugged. "He's a really nice guy. He helped me a lot when things were so shitty."

"Like _I _should've done," Kyle sulked.

"Don't beat yourself up anymore. That's in the past now. So what do you think about me and Gary?"

"I think it sounds like he was a pretty good influence on you. And if you're happy with him, then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Ky. And listen, if you wanna date Wendy, then I'm happy for you, too. She's a good person and deserves a great guy like you."

"What? I don't wanna date Wendy."

"Kyle, it's OK. I really don't have a problem with it."

"Stan, I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Come on, I just saw you guys hugging yesterday at your locker."

"Oh, that? No, dude! She fell and I was just helping her up."

Stan was pretty confused. "But Cartman said that you were spending a lot of time with her over the break."

"Why would he say that? Yesterday was the first time she talked to me in months."

Stan shook his head in disbelief. "That lying sack of shit. He was trying to keep us apart."

"Hold on, Stan, it can't be that simple. He must've had some reason for doing it."

"Well, I sure as hell wanna know what it is. Come on, dude. I'm suddenly in the mood for pizza."

* * *

In case you didn't know, Krust E. Krotch's was the original name given to Whistin' Willy's. I wanted to use the old name because it's much funnier.

Disclaimer: I don't own _South Park_, or the classic bigoted character of Archie Bunker.


	5. Enough Is Enough

For those of you who've been waiting for Kenny and Butters to get into the mix, today's your lucky day! After all, who doesn't love a nice, fluffy Bunny? :-P

* * *

**_Enough Is Enough_**

Randy offered to drive Stan and Kyle down to Krust E. Krotch's. The boys were grateful for the ride, though they found it a little odd that he kept glancing at them in the rearview mirror with that stupid open-mouthed grin on his face. When they arrived, Randy told them, "Now, if you boys find yourselves chewing on the same strand of cheese, just think of _Lady and the Tramp_ and you'll know. Later!"

They stared at the car as it drove off. "Dude," said Kyle. "What. The fuck."

"I dunno," Stan shook his head as they walked in.

"There they are," Kyle pointed their friends out. "Guys! Look who I brought with me!"

Kenny stood up. "Stan!" he smiled in surprise.

"Hey, Kenny!" he waved awkwardly as they made their way over to the table.

"Oh, balls…" Cartman slid down in his seat.

"How are you?" Kenny asked.

"A lot better now. It's good to see you again."

"I know, it's been too long."

Kyle peered over the edge of the table. "Cartman?"

The round boy slowly sat up. "Aw, no way!" he faked shock. "I was looking for my pizza under the table, and it was here on my plate the whole time! Oh, hey! Look, Kinny, Kahl's here and he brought Stan with him! That is _so_ kewl!"

"Cartman, why did you tell Stan I was hanging out with Wendy?"

"You mean you _weren't_? Oh, I feel so embarrassed! I can't believe I jumped to such wild conclusions!"

"Drop the act, Cartman," said Stan. "Why were you trying to keep me mad at Kyle?"

"Uh…hold that thought, Stan. Kahl, can I talk to you in private for one second, please?"

"Cartman, I wanna know!" Stan raised his voice.

Cartman's eyes darted back and forth between the super best friends. "Kahl, can I _please _have a quick chat with you?"

"Come on, Cartman," Kyle urged. "We're giving you a chance to explain why you did it. Just tell us so we can all talk it over."

Cartman sighed in frustration. "You _really _want me to get into this?"

"Yes!" they answered impatiently.

"All right, fine… I saw that Stan was gonna talk to you the other day after class and try to charm his way back into our circle. God knows we didn't need this douche around us again, so I came up with a brilliant way to distract you while I planted the seed of doubt about your loyalty and Wendy's fidelity to squash any thoughts of reconciliation in Stan's cynical head."

"So _that's _why he left? And Garrison didn't really ask for me to do that presentation? I've been killing myself the past few days going through all this racist TV bullcrap!"

"I knew it was nothing you couldn't handle, Kahl. You're smart enough for it. Mr. Garrison probably would've asked you do it anyway; I just bought you some extra time to get the work done."

"OK, so you sent Stan away because he was cynical. But that's not an issue anymore, Cartman. He's in a good place now."

"And how long will that last before something else sets him off? Have you forgotten how much better the two of us have been getting along without him? Our time apart's made it crystal clear that Stan's been nothing but trouble for us."

"But Cartman—"

"No, Kahl! I refuse to share our friendship with the likes of _him_! You're gonna have to choose: it's either me or Stan."

Kyle was at a loss for words. How would he make a decision like this? He looked at Cartman, who had his arms crossed over his chest with a waiting glare; then he saw Stan, who wore a worried look on his face. He knew what he had to do. With an apologetic look, he said, "I'm sorry, Stan."

Cartman smirked in his smug victory.

Stan bowed his head in sadness. "I understand," he choked out.

Kyle lay his hand on Stan's shoulder. "It was a bad idea to come here. Is that invitation for dinner at your house still open?"

Stan lifted his head in bewilderment, then smiled and said, "Sure!"

Cartman's jaw dropped. "What? You're choosing that asshole? The fuck, Kahl?"

Kyle turned to him. "Cartman, I really thought you had changed. I actually thought things were starting to turn around for us. But hearing everything you said just now proved to me that you haven't changed at all. You're still the same manipulative bastard you always were, and I won't make the same mistake twice. Let's go, Stan."

As the two friends headed out the door, Cartman let out an Incredible Hulk roar and charged after them. He tackled Kyle outside, and they started rolling around in the parking lot. "God damn you, Kahl! I was a good friend to you!"

"Get off me, fat boy!"

"Jesus tap dancing Christ," Stan pinched the bridge of his nose as Kenny came walking out.

"I should've known better than to make nice with a lousy Jew rat!"

"Don't make me go all Jersey on you, asshole!"

"I'll make you eat your parents!"

"SHUT UP!" Kenny yelled at the top of his lungs, getting his three friends' attention. "What's the matter with you guys? We're all supposed to be friends here! Cartman, why would you give Kyle an ultimatum like that? Obviously, he would pick Stan; he's only his best friend in the whole fucking world!"

"Yeah, fatass," Kyle agreed.

"And Kyle," Kenny continued, "why would you think that Cartman had changed? What reason does he have? No matter what horrible shit he does, you always end up hanging out with him again like nothing ever happened, so what's his motivation to change?"

"Calm down, Kenny," said Stan. "Let's just go back inside and sit down—"

"No, Stan, I'm not going back inside! You don't always have to be the one in charge! Let somebody else take the reins for once!"

They all stared dumbfounded at Kenny.

"I am so sick of always having to be the one who holds everything together. You guys need to figure out how to solve your own problems, 'cause I can't do it anymore." He walked a few steps, then turned back. "And by the way, when's the last time anyone fought to be _my _friend?"

The three of them couldn't think of anything to say.

"That's what I thought. I'll see you guys around. Thanks for the fuckin' pizza," he spat as he walked off.

…

Kenny wandered around town aimlessly, trying desperately to get his mind off his so-called friends. As he approached a familiar reddish-brown house, he could see someone sitting on the front lawn.

"Loo loo loo, I've got some apples, loo loo loo, you've got some too…" the boy sang while holding a Granny Smith in each hand.

"Butters?" Kenny squinted.

"Oh, hey, Kenny!" he smiled.

"Isn't it getting a little dark to be playing out here?"

"Well, I didn't p-play enough in school at recess, so I have to play now. It sure is gettin' ch-chilly, though."

"So go play inside."

"Oh, I can't do that. If I don't play enough outside today, my dad'll ground me for sure, by golly!"

Kenny really felt bad for Butters. He could never seem to catch a break, in school or at home. "Here," Kenny took off his parka and mittens. "This should help you stay warm."

"No, I can't take your s-stuff, Kenny! You'll freeze!"

"I'm used to the cold. My house is pretty drafty." Before Butters could protest again, Kenny took the apples away and slipped his mittens on the other's hands. Then he pulled the orange parka down over Butters' frame. It was a bit long on the smaller blond, but quite comfy. "There," said Kenny.

"Mmmph mm-mmm," Butters' muffled voice came through the coat.

_Is it really that hard to understand me?_ Kenny wondered. "What did you say?"

Butters removed the hood. "I said 'thanks a lot.'"

"Anytime," he smiled. "It's nice to see someone who appreciates my help," he mumbled.

"Gee, Kenny, you seem a little down. Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing. You don't wanna hear about it."

"Well, sure I do! Talkin' about your p-problems is always better than holdin' everything inside."

Butters had a point. It _did _feel pretty good letting the guys have it before. "Do you feel like taking a walk? You know, since you can't go inside yet anyway."

"Oh, boy! That sounds like a swell idea! I love goin' on f-fun adventures!"

"We'd better take the apples. We might be gone awhile."

* * *

OK, this chapter ended with a lot less happening in it than I originally planned. But it would have been a lot longer, and I get a little OCD about keeping the chapters around the same length. I'll try to get the next one posted more quickly.

Did anyone catch the reference in Kenny's dialogue when he left the guys at Krust E. Krotch's? If you think you know which phrase and where it originally came from, post it in a review and I'll give a shout-out to whoever gets it right ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own _South Park_, _Lady and the Tramp_, or _The Incredible Hulk_. (Is anybody as tired of seeing these disclaimers as I am of typing them?)


	6. Two Blonds Are Better Than One

I'm thinking the last chapter suffered because of my need to keep it in the same ballpark length as the others. So from now on, I'm not going to concern myself so much with the chapter lengths, but instead make sure they all contain a decent amount of story content.

To answer the question I posed at the end of the last chapter, Kenny's quote "Thanks for the fuckin' pizza" was a reference to the _Family Guy _episode "Jerome Is the New Black." Long story short, Brian treats Quagmire to dinner and asks why he doesn't like him. Quagmire then goes on a rant about all of Brian's faults, and ends it by getting up and saying, "Thanks for the fuckin' steak." (I don't own any of that if you're reading, Seth MacFarlane.)

OK, enough rambling. On with the story…

* * *

**_Two Blonds Are Better Than One_**

Stan, Kyle and Cartman sat in front of Krust E. Krotch's reflecting on Kenny's earlier outburst. "Dude, we suck," Stan finally spoke. "Everything Kenny said was true. I _always _have to be the leader."

"And _I _put all the blame on Cartman for never becoming a better person, when I've enabled his behavior by not showing him any consequences for it."

"The worst part is how we've taken Kenny for granted," Stan said.

"We've never done anything to show we appreciate him," Kyle agreed.

"Yeah…" Cartman sighed. "You guys sure are lousy friends."

"What about _you_, Cartman?" Stan accused him. "You're always making fun of him for being poor."

"I rag on him," Cartman defended. "That's what friends are _supposed_ to do. I mean, that's why you guys call me fat all the time."

"Yeah, _that's _why," Kyle rolled his eyes. "How can we fix this?"

"Well, the first thing we need to do is—" Stan cut himself off, remembering Kenny's criticism. "Actually, maybe somebody else ought to suggest something."

Kyle gave it some thought. "Should we find Kenny and apologize?"

"Good idea," said Stan. "But where do you think he went?"

"I know a good place to start looking. Come on," he stood up, and Stan followed suit.

"Are you coming, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"Uh…no," he answered like it was obvious.

"Kenny needs to know we all care about him," said Kyle.

"He's fine," Cartman waved it off. "He'll be back to huffing paint in no time."

"God dammit, Cartman! For once, would you just—" Kyle also remembered Kenny's words of wisdom. "Never mind. Stan and I are going to look for Kenny, and if you don't wanna come along, that's _your_ problem. Have fun here by yourself," he said as they left.

"Wha'eva! Wha'eva!" he rolled his neck and moved his index finger side to side. "I do what I want!"

…

"Gimme your hand," Butters said to Kenny as they started their walk.

"What for?"

"Remember at Pioneer Village when Mr. Garrison had us walk around in pairs?"

"You mean…you wanna _hold_ my hand?"

"Well, it _is_ gettin' kinda dark, and we sure don't wanna lose each other when we can't see nothin' anymore."

Kenny chuckled at Butters' endearing naïveté. "Can't argue with _that_ logic," he offered his hand.

"So what's on your mind, Kenny?"

He looked up at the night sky and sighed. "Have you ever felt like people only wanna be your friend when it's convenient for them?"

"Eric sure makes me feel that way sometimes."

"Yeah, and Kyle and Stan aren't much better."

"What did they do to you?" Butters asked with concern.

"Nothing—that's just it. I'm not important enough for them to do anything. I'm just a prop they keep around for their own amusement. My feelings don't matter."

"They matter to _me_."

He turned to Butters. "Really?"

"Of course! Why do you look so surprised?"

"It's just…no one's ever said that to me before."

"Well, gosh, Kenny, how could I not care? You've always been so nice to me. Heck, you even traveled with me to Kaua'i for my h-hapa noa."

"It just seemed right, after you said I was the only one around here with any dignity. That was the first real compliment anyone ever gave me."

"It's the truth, ya know. All them other kids seem to be so well-off, and they still find somethin' to complain about. Not you, though. You've had some real tough times, but I never heard you feelin' sorry for yourself once. Those other fellas could learn a thing or two from you, boy howdy!"

"I think they could probably learn more from _you_, Butters. Everybody puts you through so much crap, yet somehow you manage to keep smiling."

"It sure ain't easy sometimes."

Kenny nodded in agreement. "I know," he squeezed Butters' hand.

The Stotch boy gave a soft smile. "We're a lot alike, you and me. We think everything'll fall apart if people know we're unhappy, so we both try to act like nothin's buggin' us."

"And the guys treat us both like shit. We have that in common, too."

"Aw, but they appreciate you, Kenny!"

"Sure they do."

"I mean it! When I started hangin' out with the fellas after we lost you, they constantly compared us. Anytime I didn't wanna go through with one of their c-crazy schemes, they'd always say, 'Kenny woulda done it.' Why, even when Tweek replaced me as their new best friend, they still said, 'He's sure no Kenny.'"

Kenny's mouth hung open. "After you lost me? You…you remember that I died?"

"I don't see how anyone could forget somethin' like that. I sure was awful sad. Just thinkin' about it now makes me feel like cryin'," he wiped at his eye.

"I still have the picture you drew for me—the one of us flying a plane together."

"You do?"

"It meant so much to me. It sort of made me wanna do it for real," Kenny laughed.

Butters shrugged a little. "We _could _if we ever figure out how to get back to Imaginationland. Why, we wouldn't even need a pilot's license there!"

"All right, it's a date, then," Kenny smirked.

Butters blushed at that, and he was suddenly thankful for the cover of darkness surrounding them.

…

The two blonds rested when they arrived at Stark's Pond. "That's the worst part about being immortal," Kenny spoke between bites of his apple. "Even though I always come back, dying still hurts like a bitch."

Butters chucked his own apple core over his shoulder. "Geez, I only went through gettin' fired from my job as the fellas' buddy, and that was enough to turn me into evil Professor Chaos. I'm a bad bear."

"Hey, you have to get your aggression out _somehow_."

"But you managed to use your bad experiences as motivation to become a hero for other people as Mysterion. You're really somethin', Kenny."

"I sure don't feel like much a hero today. I yelled at my friends, and I walked away from my problems."

"Well, you're still _my _hero." And just as he had with Cartman when he contracted HIV, Butters leaned in and kissed Kenny's cheek.

Kenny stared wide-eyed for a moment. Then without warning, he dropped his half-eaten apple and crashed his lips into Butters' with a feeling of urgency.

Butters was caught off guard, but slowly his shock subsided and he melted into the kiss.

They instinctively wrapped their arms around each other, rubbing one another's back. All of a sudden, they saw a bright light appear out of the corner of their eyes. They pulled apart and looked over to see the dropped jaws of Stan and Kyle pointing a flashlight in their direction.

"Oh, hamburgers!" Butters yelled and ran away.

"Butters, come back!" Kenny shouted.

The two super best friends soon found themselves in the death glare of their immortal companion.

* * *

I realize that the timeline of events discussed in this chapter is a little out of order, since the trip to Hawaii in the episode "Going Native" happened after Stan had already rejoined the group. But that trip served as a good example of Kenny and Butters' mutual support for one another. So for the sake of this story, let's just pretend it happened before Stan came back ;P


	7. Trouble in Paradise

First and foremost, I'd like to let everyone know about a _South Park_ and _Persona Series_ crossover fic by follow author **kyelmarsh **called **"South Park's Persona Story." **You should definitely check it out—I know next to nothing about the _Persona Series_, and I'm still enjoying the story. The best way to find it (for me, anyway): go to the _South Park _FanFiction Archive; click _South Park _Crossovers; then choose _Persona Series _(make sure you set it to show M-rated fics). Enjoy! ^_^

* * *

**_Trouble in Paradise_**

"What is your goddamn problem?" Kenny yelled at Stan and Kyle. "Can you only be happy by making me miserable?"

"We just trying to find you," Kyle explained.

"Oh, so you suddenly care now? Why? You never cared before!"

"That's not true, Kenny!" said Stan.

"You wouldn't even visit me while I was dying in the hospital, Stan!"

"What are you talking about, dude?" asked Kyle.

"Try to get this through your heads: I die _all the time_! You've seen it happen, but you never remember! Nobody does, except for Butters. Apparently, he's the only one who's ever affected by it!"

"Kenny, I think we'd remember if you died," Stan said.

"You think so? Then tell me: why was it that Butters and Tweek each took my place as your best friend?"

Kyle tried hard to remember. "Because…because you were gone for a while…"

"And where was I?"

Stan scratched his head. "I don't…um…you just weren't around."

"Ugh…why am I even trying to explain this when Butters is running around in the dark by himself, thanks to you guys! You always suspected he was probably gay, and now you saw the proof with your own eyes! But I guess you also saw something you _didn't _expect, so I hope you're satisfied!"

Stan shook his head. "Kenny, you don't understand—"

"No, _you _don't understand! You'd better just forget about what happened here if you know what's good for you! You've already hurt me, but I'll damned if I'm gonna let you ruin _Butters'_ life! I have to find him before something happens," he worried.

"We'll come with you!" said Kyle. "Our flashlight can help see him."

"No thanks, you've helped enough," Kenny ran, following Butters' footprints in the snow.

It was no more than five minutes later that Kenny heard a faint voice. "Ow…" it groaned. He walked toward it and found Butters sitting in the snow. "There you are," he said relieved.

"Oh, yeah… I took your clothes with me," he croaked out. "I'm sorry."

"That's not why I came after you, Butters. I was afraid you'd get lost in the dark."

"No, I didn't go far enough to get lost. I was running too fast and I tripped."

"Are you hurt?"

"I think I might've skinned my knee."

"Roll up your pant leg so I can take a look." Butters did as he was told, and Kenny examined the knee. "Just a small cut, but it needs to be cleaned. C'mon, I have a first aid kit at my place."

…

Butters sat on the McCormick's closed toilet lid while Kenny pulled out the kit. "Wow, you sure have a lotta bandages and stuff in there."

"When you're as accident-prone as I am, you tend to be prepared," Kenny winked. He picked up the antiseptic for the wound. "Now, this is gonna sting a little, OK?"

Butters nodded, then winced in pain when Kenny sprayed his cut. Tears slowly slipped out of his tightly closed eyes.

"Don't cry, it'll stop hurting in a second."

"I ain't cryin' about that," he sniffled. "The fellas…they s-saw us…"

"I'm so sorry, Butters. I never thought they'd come looking for me."

"They're gonna t-tell everybody that I'm a q-queer!" he wailed.

"No, they won't," Kenny grabbed Butters' shoulders. "I let them know that if they do—" Kenny did his best Butters impersonation, "there's gonna be heck to pay—heck, I tell ya!"

Butters giggled at the silly impression. "You're a riot, Kenny."

"Now, no more tears," Kenny wiped away the drops around Butters' eyes with his thumbs. He then applied a small bandage over the cleaned cut. "There we go."

"Aren't ya supposed to k-kiss the boo-boo to make it better?"

"Of course, I almost forgot," Kenny played right along. "Mwah!" he pecked over the bandage. "Good as new!"

"You sure are good at takin' care of people, Kenny."

"I've had a lot of practice tending to my little sister's scrapes."

"She's lucky to have a brother like you."

This time, it was Kenny who blushed.

"Well, I'd better get on home now. My parents'll be awful sore at me if I stay out too late."

"All right, I'll walk you."

…

_"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"_

_"You bastards!"_

_"OK, Kenny, I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire."_

_"Yes, you can. Check it out… AAAHH!"_

_"Holy shit, dude!"_

_"He just…he just stopped breathing. And it was over."_

_"But…I didn't get to see him. Kyle, I didn't get to say goodbye… Did he say anything before he went?"_

_"He just said, 'Where's Stan?'"_

_"I let Kenny down. I'm his worst f-f-f-friend…"_

"Kenny!" Stan woke up screaming the next morning. A few seconds later, his cell phone rang, and he saw Kyle's name come up. "Dude, I just had the worst nightmare!"

"Me too!" said Kyle.

"Kenny was dead!" they shouted simultaneously.

"Whoa, dude…" Kyle tried to absorb what happened.

"It all seemed so real…so familiar. I think Kenny might've been telling the truth last night!"

"But…how is that even possible?"

"I dunno, but with all the crazy shit that happens in this town, I wouldn't count it out."

"We really need to talk to him now."

…

The boys didn't have school since it was Saturday, so Stan and Kyle met up and headed over to Kenny's house right away. They knocked on the door.

"Hi, boys," Mrs. McCormick answered.

"Is Kenny home?" Stan asked.

"Kenny, you got company!" she walked away, and they stepped inside.

Kenny came bounding out grinning ear to ear, until he saw who the company actually was. "Oh, it's _you_. Look, I have somebody coming over soon, so I'd appreciate it if you were gone before they get here."

"Wait, Kenny," said Kyle. "We have something we need to say."

"What?"

"Oh my God. They killed Kenny."

"You bastards."

"So you finally remember, huh?"

"I dunno why we couldn't before," Kyle said. "Then again, I don't get how you could die and come back in the first place."

Kenny shrugged. "I don't even get it myself… but that's beside the point! If you couldn't remember, then you should've had more reason to treat me better thinking that I only live once!"

"I know, Kenny," said Stan. "What I did was terrible. You needed me to be there for you in the hospital, but I was so wrapped up in how hard it was for me to see you like that, I forgot about how hard it must've been for you to go through. By the time I finally came back to see you…" he trailed off, eyes tearing up.

"You came to see me?"

"Yeah, but you were already gone. I'm sorry, Kenny," he cried. "I'm sorry I was so selfish."

Kenny sighed and put his hand on Stan's shoulder. "I'm here now. Just try to do better the next time it happens."

"I promise I will."

"Good. Now, I hate to chase you guys out, but I _am_ expecting someone."

"You mean Butters?" asked Kyle.

"Listen, I know you guys don't understand it, and it's pretty confusing for me, too, but I think I might have real feelings for him."

"That's what I was trying to tell you last night," Stan said. "I _do _understand; I'm going out with Gary Harrison now."

"The Mormon kid?"

"That's what _I _said," Kyle mumbled.

"The point is I know how strange it feels to like another boy, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. Kyle helped me realize that," he smiled.

"So, Kyle, you don't think it's gross?"

"Well, I don't think it's something I'd like to try myself, but no, it doesn't make me wanna puke. I'll tell you the same thing I told Stan: if he makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

Just then, they heard someone knocking. "That must be him," Kenny smiled walking to the door. "Butters!"

"Hi, Kenny!" Butters suddenly saw Kyle and Stan inside. "Oh, geez…" he twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"It's OK," Kenny assured him. "Everything's cool. They aren't gonna tell on us."

"Yeah, Butters," Stan added. "I've basically been dating Gary Harrison for a couple months, so if we tell on you, you can tell on me."

"Meaning it's not gonna happen," Kyle clarified.

"Oh, that's sweet, Stan," Butters cooed. "Gary seems like a real nice fella, e-even if he _is _from a f-funny religion."

"Thanks, Butters," Stan chuckled.

"Well, we should let you two get back to your plans," Kyle said.

"Before we go," Stan remembered. "Kenny, you were right: we _did _take you for granted, and we weren't very appreciative of everything you've done for us."

"But no more," said Kyle. "From now on, we're gonna do everything we can to _earn_ your friendship. Is there anything we could start with?"

"Um…I _was _thinking about ordering a pizza tonight."

"Consider it done."

"No," Stan objected. "Kenny, you're too good for pizza! Tonight, we're gonna treat you and Butters to Buca di Faggoncini!…I mean, if that sounds good to _you_."

"Hell yeah, it does!" Kenny exclaimed.

"Oh, boy! Dinner out with the fellas! I'd better gel my hair."

…

After the boys' night out, Gary came to Stan's house for a sleepover. "I was worried when I didn't see you back in class after recess yesterday."

"Yeah, I came home sick."

"But I called your house when you didn't answer your cell phone, and your mom said you were out."

"Oh, man! Sorry, I guess I forgot to take it with me. I wasn't really that sick—I think it came from being so upset."

"Oh, what happened?"

"Kyle and I got into it on the playground. But it's OK, we're friends again now."

"That's great! I knew you just needed to talk things out."

"Yeah," Stan laughed. "It turns out Kyle wasn't even seeing Wendy, either. Cartman just made the whole thing up."

Gary looked uneasy. "Really?"

"Crazy, right?"

"So you and Wendy are still officially a couple, then…"

"Gary, I told you, I'm not interested in her anymore."

"Your words tell me one thing, but your actions say the opposite. When are you going to break it off with her?"

"I can't just dump her! She'll wanna know why, and you know I can't give her the real reason."

"Stan, we can't keep doing this! I can deal with your not wanting to come out yet, but I shouldn't have to put up with your still having a girlfriend! I don't want to be the guy you see on the side while you stay in a relationship with Wendy to keep up appearances. That isn't fair to me _or _her."

Stan heaved a sigh. "You're right… I'll talk to her on Monday and end it."

"Thank you," Gary said softly and he lay his head in Stan's lap.

Stan sat in his bed stroking Gary's arm, dreading going back to school. _I sure wish Kyle _was _dating Wendy right now._

* * *

Finally, Gary's back in the story! I couldn't really figure out a good way to use him in the last few chapters, but he'll around more now.

P.S. Happy birthday to one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Sarah McLachlan :-)


	8. Forever Wasn't Meant for Us

**_Forever Wasn't Meant for Us_**

When church let out on Sunday afternoon, the Marshes went straight over to Kyle's house at Stan's request.

"Oh, hello, Stanley!" Sheila greeted him warmly. "I'm so glad you and my little bubbeleh made up!"

"Thanks, Mrs. Broflovski."

"There's no need to be so formal. Call me Sheila."

"Thanks…uh…Mrs. Broflovski."

"Randy, I thought the whole family was coming," Gerald said. "Where's your father?"

"He wasn't feeling very social today, so we left him in the car."

"Oh, dear! Will he be all right?" Sheila worried.

"Sure, we cracked the window for him."

"Hey, Stan," Kyle came downstairs.

"Hey, Kyle. I really need your advice."

"Kyle, why don't you and Stan go play ookie mouth?" asked Sheila. "Remember playing it with Kenny when he had the chicken pox?"

"I don't wanna play ookie mouth!"

"Spitting in each other's mouth will prepare you boys for later on," she urged.

Kyle raised his eyebrow in confusion. "'Kay… Let's talk in _my _room, Stan."

"What am _I _supposed to do here?" Shelly complained.

"You can watch Ike, honey," Sharon suggested.

Ike came bouncing in and stared at Shelly.

"What are you looking at, turd?"

"Cookie Monster!" his head flapped up and down.

Kyle closed his bedroom door behind them. "Do you ever get the feeling that our parents are complete morons?"

"Dude, I'm so fucked!" Stan flopped down on the bed.

"Why?"

"I have to break up with Wendy."

"Well…yeah, dude. I kind of thought that was a given."

"But how can I do it without exposing myself?"

"That's easy: just keep your pants on when you tell her."

"Very funny, wise-ass. I mean, if I break up with her, everybody will find out my secret. But if don't break up with her, Gary will hate me for using both of them."

"Why would everyone find out your secret from breaking up with Wendy?"

"Because she'd tell Bebe, then Bebe would tell the other girls, and pretty soon the whole school would know!"

"You're assuming Wendy would know you're gay. The only way she would is if you told her, and why would you need to?"

"Well, I can't just dump her without giving a reason."

"Why not? She didn't give you a reason when she dumped you. She didn't even tell you herself; she got Bebe to do it for her."

"I know, but I still think she deserves better than that."

"So just make something up. Tell her you need to be single for a while."

"I don't wanna lie to her."

"God, Stan, you don't wanna lie, you don't wanna tell the truth, you don't wanna say nothing… those are the only options you have. You need to pick one of them."

"But which one is the right choice?"

"I don't have the answer to that. You have to listen to what your gut tells you."

"OK, my gut tells me that my super best friend should break up with my girlfriend for me."

"Well, tell your gut that it's acting like a pussy."

"Ugh…" Stan groaned and buried his face in Kyle's pillow.

…

Cartman was spending the evening in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. "Mom! Door!" When she didn't come out, he grunted and got up himself. "Oh, hey, Kinny. You over your bitch fit now?" he asked as he returned to the couch.

"Maybe if you checked on me, you'd know," he walked in. "Stan and Kyle did. Why couldn't you?"

"What the hell was the point? You didn't wanna talk to us anyhow."

"Maybe not…but at least they cared enough to try."

"God, Kinny, would you let it go already? Stop being such a fag."

Kenny pounced on him. "Don't you _ever _use that word around me again!" he gritted.

"Jesus! What's your fuckin' problem?"

"You can't even go one minute without insulting me, can you?" he stood up. "How hard is it for you to be nice once in a while, like a real friend?"

"You seem pretty testy, Kinny. Is it that time of the month for you?"

"There you go again," he shook his head. "Everything's just one big joke to you, isn't it? I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"

"And _I'm _trying to watch TV! I think it's pretty rude of you to interrupt."

"There was a time when talking to me would've been more important to you. There was a time when I actually considered you my best friend… I guess that doesn't mean much to you now, though. Goodbye, Cartman."

"See you later, po' boy."

"No, I mean _goodbye_. It's obvious our friendship means nothing to you, so I give up. I'm out."

"Give it a rest, Kinny. We both know you'll come crawling back after you cool off."

"Not this time," he placed a bunched up chain in Cartman's hand and walked out the door.

Cartman examined it and realized it was Kenny's BFF neck chain from second grade. He took out his own and matched the half hearts together into one. As tears began to sting at his eyes, he grew furious and ran out the front door. "Yeah, well, good riddance, Kinny! I never liked you anyway!"

Cartman returned inside and slammed the door shut. He marched into the kitchen and grabbed a chocolate candy bar before sitting down on the couch again. As he bit into it, he couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks.

Mr. Kitty walked up to him and meowed.

"No, Kitty, this is _my _chocolate bar," he said softly.

She jumped up and settled down in his lap.

And for once, Cartman let her.

…

Students made their way out to the playground at recess the next day. "Where was Cartman at lunch?" Stan asked.

"I think I saw him sitting on the other side of the cafeteria by himself," Kyle answered. "I wonder what's up with him."

"Just be glad we didn't have to listen to any of his bullshit for once," Kenny said with a slight attitude. "I'm gonna go find Butters."

Kyle nudged Stan. "Dude, there's Wendy," he pointed to the monkey bars.

"Crap," he sighed. "Better get it over with." Stan slowly approached the group of girls hanging upside down and cleared his throat. "Wendy?"

"Stan!" she jumped down and hugged him. "I'm so glad you came to see me!" she squealed.

"I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere private?"

"OK," she said unsure. They walked around to the side of the building, out of view of the other kids. "What is it?"

"I don't know how to say this, Wendy," he stared down at his feet.

"Say what?"

Stan looked at her and swallowed hard. "I can't be with you anymore."

"What?" she looked stunned. "You're breaking up with me?"

"Things are just different now. I can't go on pretending I'm the same person at ten that I was at nine. I've changed."

"I don't care if you have Asperger's, Stan," she teared up. "I still love you."

"I'm sorry, Wendy. I just…I just don't have those feelings for you any longer."

Wendy's mouth hung open for a few seconds, then she slapped him in the side of his face. "You're a real jerk, Stan Marsh!" she cried and ran back to her friends.

"Aw—awww!" he held his hands out in disappointment at how their conversation ended.

…

When school let out, Stan wasted no time in rushing straight to his locker. He wanted to leave as soon as possible.

"Stan!" Gary caught up with him. "Are you coming with me to my house?"

"Yeah, fine," he continued shoving books into his backpack.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up from the ground. "I broke up with Wendy at recess."

"OK. What's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" he stood up. "I made her cry, Gary! I had to tell her I don't love her anymore! Thank you so much for making me break her heart!"

"_Making_ you?" he repeated.

"You just had to push, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did, or you _never _would have ended it! It's better you did it now then six months later!"

"It was better when I didn't say anything at all! I could've just kept my distance from Wendy and we would've drifted apart naturally. But no, that wasn't good enough for you, was it?"

"This was a much more respectful way do it, Stan! Believe me, in the long run, this way is a lot better for her."

"No, Gary, it's better for _you_. You never really trusted that I was over her, so you had to make sure she hated me! I'm already spending practically every day with you, even at the expense of my friends! What more do you want from me?"

Gary cast his gaze at the floor and sighed. "Nothing," he said quietly. "I don't want anything from you, Stan. I think I'll just go home by myself today," he walked to catch the bus.

Stan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why don't I ever know when to shut up?"


	9. A Test of Faith

Sorry it took me longer to update. It was little bit of writer's block and a lot of procrastination :/

A big thank you to my buddy **kyelmarsh **for raving about me in your last chapter :-) Did everybody remember to check out his _South Park/Persona Series _crossover? (Please see Chapter 7 on how to find it.)

Announcement: I'm becoming a beta reader! If anybody's in need, I'll be taking requests once I finish filling out my beta profile.

* * *

**_A Test of Faith_**

Kenny was already seated for the bus ride home when he saw Butters heading to the back. "Butters," he grabbed his hand. "Sit here with me."

"But doesn't Eric usually sit here?"

"Don't worry about him. I wanna sit with _you_ today."

"Oh," Butters said as if he didn't realize that's why Kenny asked him. "Well, sure I'll sit here then."

Kenny cocked his head to the side as he looked at the innocent boy sitting next to him. Butters turned to him, then looked at his feet and smiled shyly as he kicked them up and down.

"Do you wanna hang out today?" asked Kenny.

"Gee, that'd be swell, Kenny! I had lots of fun at your house the other day."

"I was sort of hoping we could go to _your _place this time. Mine can get…pretty crazy."

"I guess I could ask my folks if it's OK. I don't usually have guests over."

…

They both got off the bus at the Stotch residence, and Butters walked in the front door to find his parents sitting on the couch reading. "Mom, Dad, can I have a friend over?"

"I don't know, Butters," Stephen looked up from his newspaper. "Your friend isn't a dragon, is he? They're too dangerous to be around the house."

"A'course he ain't a dragon, Dad. He's a kid in my class."

"Well, that doesn't sound very original."

"Does he have any special powers?" Linda took her eyes off her romance novel.

"Um…well, he can't die."

"I suppose that's creative enough," Stephen said. "All right, Butters, you and your imaginary friend can play up in your room."

"B-but Dad, he's not imaginary. He's a real person."

"Of course he is, sweetie," said Linda as the two of them returned to their reading.

"I guess it's OK," Butters told Kenny.

"Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Stotch," he said as they headed upstairs.

"Hmm…he's certainly getting better with the voices," Stephen commented.

"You wanna play a game?" Butters asked in his bedroom. "I got Apples to Apples."

"I don't think we can play that with only two people."

"Aw, shucks… I know! Let's play with my fireman!"

"Huh?" Kenny's eyes bugged out.

"See, I got this little firefighter here," he picked up his plastic toy. "I can get my fire engine out of my closet and put him inside."

"Oh," Kenny relaxed. "_That _fireman."

Butters pulled out the truck and put the firefighter in the driver's seat. "Vroom vroom!" he moved the truck along the floor. "You wanna drive, Kenny?"

"No, that's OK," he smiled and continued to watch Butters' game of make-believe. After a little bit, Kenny placed his hand on top of the one moving the truck. "I think we should discuss Friday night at Stark's Pond."

"W-why?" he asked nervously.

"Because we haven't really talked about our kiss. I wanna know what you thought of it."

Butters shrugged his shoulders. "I liked it…a lot."

"So did I."

"It's just…I dunno," he hesitated.

"You can tell me," Kenny rubbed Butters' arm.

"I'm s-scared. It feels weird likin' a boy."

"It scares me, too, Butters. I only ever pictured myself with a girl, so this is really new to me. But maybe we can be scared together."

"Yeah," Butters smiled. He closed his eyes and hugged Kenny tightly, while Kenny played with Butters' tuft of hair.

…

As students were filing into class the next morning, Stan saw that Gary was already in his seat. Gary looked up at him with sad eyes, then quickly looked down at his desk. Stan dropped his head and trudged to his seat next to Kyle.

Cartman walked in a few seconds later and opted to take an available desk in the back, just as he had done the day before.

"We've really done a complete one-eighty," Stan whispered to Kyle. "Less than a week ago, Cartman was in our circle, while I was on the outside spending my time with Gary and fighting with you. Now Cartman's on the outside, while I'm back in the circle spending my time with you and fighting with Gary. Not only that, but the girls have been giving me dirty looks since my talk with Wendy yesterday."

"You're just imagining things, dude. The girls aren't even paying attention to you." They both looked around and saw every girl in class scowling at Stan. "Uh…maybe they're all constipated?" Kyle suggested.

Stan dropped his head on the desk in frustration. "What am I gonna do?"

"I think you should concentrate on Gary first. He's the one you're dating now, so making up with him should be your number one priority."

"Yeah…the whole reason I broke up with Wendy was so I could move forward with Gary. As soon as I get a chance to talk to him, I'll sort this mess out."

…

When lunchtime rolled around, Stan caught up with Gary just outside the cafeteria. "Hi," he gave a small wave.

"Hi," Gary half smiled.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was angry about how upset Wendy got, but I know it wasn't your fault."

"Thanks, Stan. You made a good point, though. I _have _been taking up a lot of your time, and that was OK when it was just the two of us. But you have your friends now, and I don't want to take you away from them."

"So what are you thinking?"

"I think maybe we should spend some time apart."

"Oh," Stan looked down. "That isn't what I was hoping you'd say."

"I don't mean that we should stop dating altogether, but having a little space will keep us from getting on each other's nerves and arguing like yesterday. I don't want it to end over something like that."

Stan closed his eyes and nodded. "OK," he agreed and joined his friends at the lunch table.

"What happened?" Kyle asked.

Stan sighed. "We're taking a break."

Kyle patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Stan."

"Hey, at least we're not fighting, right? We're doing it to stay together."

"You guys will be all right," Kenny assured him and looked over at Butters. "When you're with the right person, nothing can tear you apart."

"Hey, Ken!" a familiar voice called excitedly from across the room.

Kenny's eyed widened as he slowly turned around. "Tammy Warner?"

* * *

I apologize for such a short chapter, but I wanted to make sure I got it posted before Winter Storm Charlotte hits Connecticut and possibly knocks out our power .\ _ /.

I don't own Apples to Apples, either—it's the property of Mattel.


	10. SUPER! Fun Time

Well, we got lucky where I am because we didn't lose power in the blizzard. We did, however, get pretty snowed in (you couldn't even tell there was a road here the day after). I imagine the boys must see this a lot in South Park :-P

I finished filling out my beta profile, so I'm officially ready to take requests from anyone looking for a proofreader. Check out the profile to see what my beta style is, and if you're interested, please let me know ASAP (I can only proofread so many stories at one time).

* * *

**_SUPER! Fun Time_**

Tammy made her way over and sat right down in Kenny's lap. "How've you been?" she asked.

"Fine…" he said unsure. "How about you?"

"Not good at all. I've missed you so much, Ken!" she embraced him.

"Uh…Tammy, have you met my friends?"

"Hi, I'm Kyle."

"And I'm Stan."

"Hi, I'm Kenny's girlfriend Tammy."

Butters looked over at them in surprise. "Girlfriend? B-but I thought you guys weren't together no more."

"We're _not_," Kenny answered quickly.

"It's true that we haven't seen each other in a while, but we never really broke up, Ken," Tammy reminded him.

"Oh…" Butters knocked his knuckles together nervously.

"Tammy, I'm sorry, but it's over now."

"Aw, come on, Ken! Why don't we go to T.G.I. Friday's after school? I think I'm gettin' a craving," she said seductively.

Kenny began to sweat, and shuddered, involuntarily but audibly, at the opportunity presenting itself, which didn't go unnoticed by Butters.

"'Scuse me, fellas, I-I gotta go to the little boys' room," he scampered off with his head down.

"No, Butters…" Kenny called to him.

"We'll go talk to him," Kyle said as he and Stan got up from the table.

They went into the closest restroom and heard whimpering coming from one of the stalls.

"Butters?" Kyle asked.

"I'll be out s-soon," he answered shakily.

"Just come and talk to us," Stan urged.

Slowly, Butters got off the toilet and unlocked the stall door. He walked out with his bottom lip quivering and tears collecting at the bottom of his eyes. "I shoulda known I never really had a chance with him when he could have someone like Tammy Warner."

"Don't say that, Butters," said Kyle. "Kenny really likes you."

"Sure, we have fun hangin' out together, but Kenny likes long, silky hair and big boobs. I can't compete with that."

A light bulb went off in Stan's head. "Yes, you can!" he grinned.

"Oh…yeah!" Kyle read his super best friend's mind.

"W-what are guys thinkin' right now?"

"Just get off the bus with the two of us today," said Stan. "We'll explain everything then."

…

After school, Stan, Kyle and Butters all went to the Marsh house. "Now, what's this all about?" Butters asked.

"_You _may not have long hair and big boobs, but _Marjorine _does," Stan smirked.

"Oh, no," he shook his head wildly. "I don't wanna be Marjorine again."

"Don't you wanna make Kenny forget all about Tammy?" Kyle struck a chord with him.

"Well…I _do _like Kenny a whole lot. It sure does get me steamed when I think about an older girl comin' on to him…goin' to T.G.I. Friday's, givin' him a BJ and what-not… I wonder what a BJ is anyway…ya think it's some kinda present?"

"Uh…yeah," said Kyle.

"Well, if anybody's gonna be givin' Kenny presents, it oughta be me, gosh darnit!"

"All right, let's do it!" shouted Stan. They all walked quietly into the house. "OK, Kyle," Stan whispered. "We have to sneak into my parents' bedroom and get some of my mom's clothes."

"Dude, your _mom's_?" Kyle asked.

"Well, it's either hers or my sister's, and there's no way we'd get past Shelly. Butters, you go keep my mom busy while we raid her closet."

"Gee, fellas, I don't know about this. I usually get in trouble when I'm involved in one of your crazy schemes."

"Butters, we're trying to make you into a hot chick to win Kenny over," Stan said. "And to be a chick, you'll need to dress like one."

"Aw, geez…" he slowly walked into the kitchen where Sharon was sitting, while Stan and Kyle sneaked off to the bedroom. "Uh…hi there, Stan's mom."

"Hi, Butters," she greeted him. "I didn't hear you boys come in. Is Stan out in the living room?" she started to get up.

"Uh…" he began to panic. "Ya wanna hear a song?"

"Oh…all right."

"I-I'm a little teapot, sh-short and stout, here is my handle, here is my s-spout—"

"That's very good, Butters. Stan, are you out there?"

"I have another one! Little bunny foo foo hoppin' through the forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head—"

"OK, Butters, I'm gonna go find Stan now."

"B-but if you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me, ooh…girl, baby please don't go—"

"Very cute, honey. Now, if you don't mind—"

"Hey there, have ya heard about my robot friend? He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all—"

"BUTTERS!"

"Y-yes, ma'am?"

Sharon managed her best smile. "Thank you so much for the wonderful concert, but now I think I'd like to lie down for a while."

"AAAHH! No!"

"What's wrong?"

"W-well, w-we were havin' s-so much fun."

"I know," she sighed. _How the hell do I get rid of this kid?_

"Hi, Mom," Stan said as he and Kyle walked past the kitchen entrance.

"Oh, Stanley! Thank God you're here!"

"Uh…we're all gonna go hang out in my room now," he and Kyle kept their hands behind their backs.

"Yes, of course! Enjoy yourselves!"

Butters skipped on ahead, while Stan and Kyle carefully walked backwards toward the staircase.

Once in the safety of Stan's room, they laid the clothes out on his bed. "OK," he said, "we got a blouse, a skirt, high heels, and some colorful barrettes."

"Don't forget about your tube socks from football practice," Kyle added.

"What are those for?" Butters wondered.

"You know, for stuffing in the front," Stan answered.

"Now, hold on a sec! Why would Kenny want a girl with a giant wiener?"

"They're not for your crotch, Butters," Kyle rolled his eyes. "We're putting them in the blouse to give you boobs."

"Oh… But won't I need a bra to keep my hooters in?"

"Butters, I'm not going through my mom's underwear drawer. We're gonna go outside so you can change into the skirt. Then we'll come back in to help with the other stuff."

After Butters put the skirt on, he called for Stan and Kyle, who set to work clipping his hair, stuffing the skirt, and lacing up the stilettos. They stood back and examined their handiwork.

"This isn't working," Kyle shook his head.

"We're gonna need the help of professionals," Stan realized. "Come on, Marjorine," he and Kyle grabbed the blond's hands and walked 'her' downstairs. "Mom, we're going out for a while," Stan called.

"Take your time," she called back.

Suddenly, Marvin wheeled himself into the living room and got a look at Butters. "What the hell is this?"

"We're giving our buddy a makeover, Grandpa," Stan answered as they left the house.

"Son of a whore! Now they're turning into trannies!"

…

Stan rang the bell when they reached their destination, and the door opened shortly after.

"Oh my! I haven't you boys in a while!" said Big Gay Al. "How are you?"

"Fine," said Kyle. "How are _you_?"

"Super! Thanks for asking! What brings you silly gooses all the way out here?"

"We have a makeover emergency, Al," Stan pointed to Butters.

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" said Mr. Slave when he saw the lousy job they did.

"We need something to impress our horny friend," Stan explained. "Do you think you can help?"

"You bet your sweet buns we can!" Al said cheerily. "Come on, sweetie, let's get to work!" Al invited the boys in, then called a stylist friend of his who came over lickety-split with all the essentials.

First, he picked out an appropriate-size sparkly red dress, while Mr. Slave fitted Butters with a harness to hold his fake breasts in place, which the stylist also provided. Next, he used a rouge blush, ruby red lipstick, a smoky eye shadow, and long eyelashes. Then he pulled out a natural shoulder-length blond wig and used a curling iron to make it wavy. Finally, he added the finishing touch with some black pumps in Butters' size, with a thicker and somewhat shorter heel so he could walk without needing help.

"Perfection!" the stylist declared.

"Thanks, Ricardo!" said Al. "Kisses!"

"W-well, what do ya think, fellas?"

"Whoa, dude!" Stan stared wide-eyed.

"Damn, Butters! You could pass for a Raisins girl!" Kyle complimented him.

"Thanks so much for your help," Stan told Al.

"Oh, it was no biggie! We're always happy to see you boys!"

"OK!" Butters stood up confidently. "Now we just need to stop at the toy store, then I'm gonna head on over to Kenny's house and give him the best darn BJ he's ever got!"

"Oh…Jesus Christ…" Mr. Slave was overcome with the vapors.

…

After buying Kenny a 20-pack of Hot Wheels, Butters headed over to his crush's house with the guys. Stan and Kyle stood on the sidelines while Butters knocked on his door.

Kenny opened it and dropped his jaw.

"Hi, Kenny," he said in a soft, feminine voice.

"Butters?!"

"_Marjorine_," he corrected him.

"Why are you dressed like this?"

"I'm just givin' you what you want," he batted his false eyelashes.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you like pretty girls with long hair and big titties, and I wanna make you happy so you don't need to go back to Tammy Warner! I even bought you a present. See?"

"Butters—"

"_Marjorine_."

"Ken!"

"Tammy?"

"Aw, s-sugar lumps…" Butters muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Kenny asked.

"You didn't get off the bus with me. I thought we were goin' to T.G.I. Friday's."

Butters could see Kenny starting to sweat again. "I'm s-sorry," he bowed his head. "I forgot you had plans," he began to walk away.

"No," Kenny grabbed his hand. "You're not going anywhere."

"I-I'm not?"

"Tammy, I told you already that there's nothing left between us."

"What, you're going out with this skank now?"

"Don't call him that!"

"_Him_? Don't you mean _her_?"

Kenny hadn't meant to let that slip out, but after a moment of thought, he continued. "No. You know what? I _did _mean _him_. I like a boy now, and he's the first crush I've ever had that was based on something more than just wanting to get laid. He's cute and funny; he likes the same kinds of toys I do; we both can relate to being overlooked by people; and most importantly, he's the sweetest person I ever met." He turned to Butters. "And that's why I like you."

Butters smiled and blushed.

"So then who is this guy really?" Tammy asked.

Kenny could see Butters' fear of being found out. "That's none of your business. The important thing is that he's the one I wanna be with, not you. Now, you can go tell everybody that I've switched teams or whatever, but it won't make any difference in how I feel about him."

"Please!" Tammy scoffed. "Why would I tell anybody? Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is finding out that I lost my boyfriend to another guy? Have a nice life!" she stomped off.

"Butters," Kenny spoke softly. "Don't think for a minute that you have to change anything about yourself to please me. I like you just the way you are."

"Gee, Kenny, do you really mean that?"

Kenny tossed Butters' wig aside and asked, "What do you think?" as he kissed him passionately.

After they were done and Butters caught his breath, he said, "Boy, I sure am glad you said that. I really didn't wanna have to cut off my wiener."

"Wow," Stan watched in amazement. "Kenny was willing to put his whole reputation on the line just to make Butters happy. Gary deserves the same from me. That's it: I have to tell Wendy the truth about us."

* * *

OMG, this chapter took forever to write! I seem to be having a harder time getting my ideas out of my head and onto my laptop the farther along this story goes :'(

Obviously, I don't own T.G.I. Friday's, Hot Wheels, or the Chicago song "If You Leave Me Now."

BTW, is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that the size of fanfic text all of a sudden got a lot smaller?


	11. Of Minions and Men

Holy crap! I finally figured out why the font size looked so much smaller in fanfic text. I must have accidentally changed the font with the options right underneath the story titles/summaries, and now I fixed it :-D That shit was driving me crazy for like three days! Boy, do I feel like a dope :b

Longest chapter yet… please R&R! The last chapter didn't get any reviews, and no reviews makes me a saaad panda :'(

* * *

**_Of Minions and Men_**

Wednesday—or _Wend's Day_ as Stan saw it, because today he was coming clean with Wendy about him and Gary. Only one thing stood in his way: the rest of the fourth grade girls. Anytime he tried to approach her, they'd block his path and stare him down.

"How am I supposed to talk to Wendy if I can't even get near her?" Stan mused at lunch.

"Try calling her," Kyle suggested.

"They'd probably answer her phone, too. This is just like being on the field: I'm trying to get the football (my news about Gary) to the goal post (Wendy), but the opposing team (every girl in class) keeps intercepting me. The only difference from regular football is now I'm squaring off against the cheerleaders."

"Stan, you're going at this all wrong," said Kenny. "Don't you know anything about chicks?"

"Yeah, it's a bad idea to piss them off."

"More important than that. They really value their friends' opinions; if you can make a girl's best friend like you, you're in."

"Bebe didn't care that much about me when I was _with _Wendy. There's no way I'll get her to like me now."

"OK, you got a point… I know! Another thing about girls is they always travel in packs, as you've clearly seen. The best way to overcome the pack is to take down their pack leader, or in football lingo, their star player. Either way, it still points to the same person."

"Bebe," Stan sighed. "How the hell would I 'take her down' anyway?"

"The same way you would any hungry pack leader: offer her an appetizer to tide her over."

"Like what?"

Kenny subtly nodded his head in Kyle's direction, and Stan's mouth opened in excitement.

Kyle quickly realized what they were thinking. "Oh, God dammit…"

…

The boys kept an eye on Bebe during recess. "Look, she's walking," Stan pointed out. "Now's your chance, Kyle, while she's by herself."

"If you had any doubts that I really am your super best friend, they'll definitely be gone after this."

"Go get her, stud," Kenny smacked Kyle's ass.

"Stop it!" he yelled, then made a beeline for his target. "Hi, Bebe," he waved.

"Hi, Kyle," she beamed.

"Oh, hold on, my shoe's untied." Kyle turned his back to Bebe and bent down with his ass sticking up for her to see. "So how are you?"

"Great…" she sighed blissfully.

As he got back up, he pretended to stretch and clenched his ass cheeks in the process. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything…" she stared dreamily.

"Will you listen to what Stan has to say?" he faced her again.

"No!" she shouted. "Stan was a complete jerk to Wendy! He doesn't deserve her or my attention!"

Kyle cringed at what he was about to say. "If you talk to him…I'll let you pinch my ass."

"Deal!" she went in for the kill.

"Uh-uh-uh!" he swatted her hand away. "Talk first, then pinch."

"OK," she reluctantly agreed.

Kyle signaled for Stan come over. "You owe me _big _for this," he whispered.

"All right, Stan, talk fast."

"Bebe, I really need to see Wendy. I have to tell her the whole truth about why I really broke up with her."

"And what _is _the truth?"

"Wendy needs to here it first. She deserves that much."

"I guess that's true. Well, being the president of the List Club has its perks. I can get you into our next meeting, and you could talk to Wendy then."

"Sweet! Thanks, Bebe!"

"Hold on, Stan. If you want to get in, you're gonna have to prove to me that you're worthy of attending another list meeting."

"How can I do that?"

…

"I'm sure some of you are wondering why I called this meeting of Coon and Friends today," Toolshed addressed South Park's young heroes after school.

"Timmeh!" Iron Maiden replied.

"It has come to my attention that there are those less fortunate in our town who could use our incredible ability of selling lemon bars to raise money."

"What worthy cause will we be supporting?" asked Tupperware.

"We'll be fundraising for the girls' List Club so they can get tickets to _The Today Show _and see Matt Lauer."

The room was quiet for a few moments.

"That doesn't sound like a very worthy cause," Mosquito said.

"I think it sounds like a great idea!" the Human Kite spoke up. "We'd be helping to make some people's dreams come true."

"And we'd look good to the girls," Mysterion reminded them. "They love a knight in shining armor who comes to the rescue in their time of need."

"Livin' a lie Timmeh!" Iron Maiden agreed.

"So what do you think?" Toolshed asked hopefully.

"Yeah!" they answered eagerly.

…

Coon and Friends got permission from Tweek's dad to set up a table outside Harbucks Coffee, provided they offer a sample of his original Tweak Bros. blend along with their lemon bars to entice prospective customers. Needless to say, business wasn't doing too well this afternoon.

"Why couldn't Mr. Tweak just let us give out Harbucks brand samples?" Toolshed griped. "Tweak Bros. coffee tastes like crap!"

"He seems really proud of his homemade blend," Human Kite noticed.

"You don't have to keep standing, Kyle. We have chairs here."

"Actually, I _do _have to stand. Bebe can really pinch," he whispered the last part.

"I bet the Coon would've figured out a way to get the good coffee for us," Mosquito said.

"Yeah," added Tupperware. "Why didn't we meet in his basement like we always did?"

"Timmeh!"

"We don't need that fat asshole's help!" Mysterion shouted, effectively silencing the naysayers.

"Geez, Kenny, why are you so upset?" asked Toolshed.

"I'm just frustrated with our lack of customers," he lied. "Why don't we go inside and take a break?"

"Works for me," said Human Kite.

Once they were all inside, a young four-eyed ginger boy peeked out of the restroom. "They're in place, Professor Chaos."

"Perfect!" the supervillain smirked. "This is it, General Disarray. We're finally g-gonna have our revenge! Ahaha, ahahahaha!" They opened the door just a crack. "Release the minions!"

Suddenly, the coffee house patrons could hear squeaking coming from the ground. "AAH!" a woman shrieked. "A hamster! EEK!" she jumped up and down on the table.

"AAH!" shouted a different woman stepping up on her table. "Another hamster! EEK!" she jumped around.

"This looks like a job for Coon and Friends!" Mosquito exclaimed excitedly.

In the commotion of women jumping on tables and superheroes attempting to apprehend the small minions, Professor Chaos and General Disarray swapped the Harbucks coffee in the machine behind the counter with the coffee for the Tweak Bros. samples outside, then quickly headed into the restroom to change.

"I got one!" said Toolshed.

"Me too!" Tupperware said.

"Aw, geez. Where'd they go?" Butters crawled around the coffee shop on his hands and knees pretending to look for something.

"I told you it was a bad idea to let them out of their cage," said Dougie.

"It's all right, Butters," Human Kite said. "Coon and Friends found your hamsters."

"Oh, really? Thanks, fellas! You sure saved me from a big scoldin'!"

"Yuck!" a customer spit his coffee out. "This tastes like raw sewage!"

"I thought Harbucks was supposed to be an improvement over Tweak Bros.!" another one complained.

Mysterion saw an opening. "We're actually giving out Tweak Bros. blend samples with the purchase of our delicious lemon bars."

"And it's for a good cause, too," added Toolshed.

Customers rushed outside to get there Tweak Bros. fix, which suddenly tasted much better to them.

Richard Tweak smiled in satisfaction. "I knew people couldn't resist the fresh taste of my original blend—country fresh, like the morning after a rainstorm."

…

"Here's all the money from the bakesale," Stan handed it over to Bebe in class the next day.

"Hmm…not bad for a day's work. OK, Stan, I think you've earned enough to attend our meeting today."

"All right!"

"Come to our meeting room as soon as lunch is over. And don't be late."

…

Stan did as he was instructed when the recess bell rang. The girls in attendance were looking at him and whispering to each other. All except for Wendy, who was doing her best to ignore him.

Bebe banged the gavel, and everybody took a seat. "Today's list meeting is called to order. Annie, you have the floor."

Annie Faulk stood in her chair. "If it pleases and sparkles, I suggest we continue deliberations on list 74-F: which girl has the best sleepovers."

"Annie moves we work on list 74-F. Does that sparkle with all the girls and Stan?"

"Sunshine," the girls answered in the affirmative.

"Sunshine…" Stan answered a beat later.

Lola stood in her council chair. "Deliberating which girl has the best sleepovers, Patty has the floor."

Patty Nelson stood up. "If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to submit that Heidi's sleepovers are by far the best."

Bebe continued, "In the matter of list 74-F, Patty moves that we recognize Heidi's sleepovers as being of the highest quality. Does that sparkle with all the girls and Stan?"

"Sunshine," the girls replied.

"Sunshine, I guess…" Stan affirmed with uncertainty.

"The motion carries. Stan, you have the floor."

He awkwardly stood. "Uh…if it pleases and sparkles, I'd like to talk to Wendy about the real reason that I broke up with her." Stan could see Wendy turn to him in shock.

"Stan moves he talk with Wendy about their recent breakup. Does that sparkle with all the girls?"

"Sunshine," they answered, with Wendy's reply being especially loud.

Jenny Simon rose from her council chair. "Discussing the dissolution of his and Wendy's relationship, Stan has the floor."

"Wendy, I wasn't being completely honest when I said I didn't love you anymore."

"I'm listening," she tapped her foot impatiently.

"It has nothing to do with you. I'm the one who's changed."

"You're actually gonna pull the 'it's not you, it's me' routine?"

"Really, Wendy! I didn't wanna tell you the truth because I was worried about my reputation, but now I see that my reputation doesn't matter if it means hurting the people I care about. The truth is…" he swallowed hard and looked down, "…I'm gay."

The girls all gasped.

Wendy's expression softened. "You're really gay?"

Stan nodded. "I didn't plan for it to happen, Wendy; I really did love you when we were together. But when my life became so shitty, I started discovering things about myself that I didn't wanna believe were true… maybe those unwanted feelings helped lead to my cynicism in the first place. And when I was at my lowest point, this boy—this _amazing _boy," he smiled, "gave meaning to my life again. I knew I couldn't deny what I felt for him…and I didn't want to."

"So, this boy…do you love him?"

Stan didn't know what to say. He honestly hadn't considered how deep his feelings for Gary ran. He thought about how much he enjoyed spending time at Gary's house; how Gary was always there when he needed a shoulder to cry on; how his heart practically sang with the simple touch of his hand, and how much it ached when they needed to stay apart. Why did Gary affect him so strongly; and why was he going to all the trouble of bargaining with Bebe to get into a meeting he didn't care about, to talk to a girl who hated him just so Gary want to would be with him again? There was only one reason… "I do," he realized. "I love him. I'm in love with him, Wendy," he said with joy. "Oh God, I'm a terrible person for being so happy about this when you're miserable. I don't blame you for hating me."

"I don't hate you, Stan," she shook her head.

"You don't?"

"No. I'm sad, of course. I still love you, and it'll take time for me to get over losing you, but I know this isn't something you chose. I would never want you to sacrifice your own happiness for anyone else's, even mine. You deserve to feel the kind of love I felt for you, no matter who it's with."

"Thanks, Wendy," Stan smiled as they hugged each other.

"Aw…" the girls cooed.

Wendy wiped away a few stray tears and cleared her throat. "If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to submit that Stan's admission of being gay shouldn't leave this room. Some of the other guys in class might not be as understanding about it as us girls."

"In the matter of Stan's sexual orientation, Wendy moves that we keep it to ourselves. Does that sparkle with all the girls?"

"Sunshine," they answered.

"The motion carries. Meeting adjourned," Bebe banged the gavel.

"Wendy," Stan said to her privately, "you were my first love, and you'll always have a special place in my heart."

"And you in mine," she said. "So just between the two of us, who's this mystery guy you're all head-over-heels for?"

"Gary Harrison."

Wendy was noticeably surprised. "The—"

"—Mormon kid, yes," he rolled his eyes.

"Strange…I assumed it would've been Kyle."

"Huh? Kyle's straight, Wendy."

"I just thought that if you _were _gay, it would be with your super best friend."

"To tell you the truth, I actually thought _you _were dating Kyle for a little bit."

"Me? Why?"

"It's a long story…"


	12. Me and My Butters

The story is winding down now. There'll just be one more chapter after this to wrap things up. However, this won't be the end of the bigger story arc. I'm planning to have a whole "Cynicism" saga within this universe, so this fic will have a sequel of its own later on.

* * *

**_Me and My Butters_**

Butters sat alone in his room after school on Friday. Resting his head in his palm, he let out a sigh.

"Bored?" he heard.

"WAH!" he turned around. "Oh, it's you, Mysterion! You scared the bejeebers outta me."

"Why are you sitting here all alone?"

"Well, I changed outta my Marjorine clothes before I came home from Kenny's a few days ago. Unfortunately, I forgot to take the barrettes from Stan's house outta my hair, so my dad grounded me for dressin' all girly."

"That sucks. But if you were grounded, how did you get down to Harbucks the other day?"

"Professor Chaos got me there. My folks still don't know about him."

"Ah, so he _was _the one who switched the coffees."

"Y-you knew about that, huh?" Butters looked down.

"Hamsters running amuck, then customers tasting the unmistakable raw sewage flavor of the Tweak Bros. brand; it was all a little too coincidental."

"Aw, shucks…Chaos shoulda known he couldn't fool Mysterion. He's a pretty lousy villain."

"But he ended up helping Coon and Friends get the money that Toolshed was so desperate to raise. Maybe he wasn't meant to be a villain after all."

Butters looked down again as his cheeks flushed and a small smile slipped out.

"Do you think he could sneak away for a bit? I have something I wanted to show him as gratitude for his aid."

"Oh! I'm sure he'd find that a lot more excitin' than sittin' around by himself all day. Lemme go get him for ya."

…

Mysterion guided a blindfolded Professor Chaos through the woods. "You better not be leadin' me into a trap, Mysterion," Chaos warned him.

"I can assure you, it's no trap. Just a surprise to thank you for your help at Harbucks."

"Well, what about General Disarray? He deserves some credit as well."

"Of course, but I think _you'd_ appreciate this gesture a lot more." Mysterion stopped when they came to a clearing, and removed the blindfold. "What do you think?"

Chaos stood there in awe. "Wow…a hot air balloon! How did you get it?"

"I called in a favor from the Park County Police Force. They owed me one for helping them as a vigilante."

"Are we gonna ride in it?"

"I'm afraid we can't, Chaos."

"Huh? What gives, Mysterion?"

"You see, I promised Kenny he could take his friend Butters on a date in it first."

Butters' mouth opened in astonishment as he awkwardly removed his tin foil helmet.

Kenny smiled, removing his hood and mask. He held his hand out and asked, "May I have this ride?"

Still somewhat in shock, Butters reached out and grabbed Kenny's hand, and the two of them entered the balloon.

Butters sat down as Kenny untied the ropes holding the basket to the ground. "I can't believe you did this for me, Kenny."

"We haven't been on a real date by ourselves yet, so I figured we might as well go all out." He released the last rope and they floated off.

Butters gazed out over the landscape below. "This is incredible…"

"This is just the warm up," Kenny put his arm around him. "We're using the balloon to get to our destination."

"O-our destination? Where are we goin', Kenny?"

"A place where no one can bother us and we can forget all our troubles." Kenny warmed up his vocal cords and began to sing: "I-ma-gi-naaaaatiooon…"

…

Stan had Kyle over at his house playing his new Wii U. Kyle could tell, though, that Stan's head wasn't really in the game. "Dude, talk to me," he paused it. "It's obvious something's on your mind."

Stan sighed. "It's this whole thing with Gary."

"You still haven't told him yet?"

"I don't know how," he shamefully admitted.

"You already got through the hard stuff. You came out to your friends, you broke up with your girlfriend and came out to her, and everybody still likes you. You told all of us that you're in love with Gary. The only person you haven't told is him."

Stan spoke in a small voice, "What if he doesn't love me back? What if he just sees this as a way to have fun for a while?"

Kyle laid his hand on his shoulder. "Stan, why would he want you to break up with Wendy and only date him if he didn't have serious feelings for you? It's OK to be scared, but don't let your fear keep you from going after what you really want."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Giving in to my fear never got me anywhere. In fact, it almost made me _lose _Gary. If I end up losing him, I don't want it to be because I was too afraid to tell him how I feel. I'm tired of letting fear control my life." Stan pulled his phone out and pressed speed dial.

"Hello?"

Stan nearly melted at the sound of his voice. "Gary?"

"Stan, hi," he sounded both surprised and happy to hear from him.

"I need to tell you something really important."

"OK, what is it?"

"Not over the phone. It has to be face to face."

"Oh… well, my family and I are going to Denver tonight to see this new play about the Book of Mormon. Can you come over tomorrow?"

"The sooner the better."

"Great! I'll see you then. Goodbye, Stan."

"Bye, Gary." Stan put the phone back in his pocket.

"I'm proud of you, dude," Kyle patted his shoulder.

"Thanks, Ky," he smiled. "I just hope Gary feels as good about it."

…

Kenny turned down the flame in the hot air balloon to touch ground when they reached Imaginationland.

"This is where we're having our date?" Butters gaped.

"I told you 'It's a date' whenever we figured out how to get back here, didn't I?" Kenny winked.

"How _did _you figure it out?"

"Stan and Kyle told me they could only open the portal to Imaginationland when they were able to sing that song correctly. Luckily, I have perfect pitch, so I remembered exactly how it went. And since we don't have access to the government's portal, I decided to use air travel like the first time we came."

"Neat-o! What should we do first?"

"Let me think…" Kenny closed his eyes in concentration, and in a few moments, the image in his head appeared before them.

Butters gasped. "It's the plane I drew!" The open glider from Butters' drawing for Kenny sat ready to fly. "It looks just like the picture!"

"Care to take it for a spin?"

"Would I ever!"

They climbed into the cockpit and started the propeller. "Ready to take us up, Captain Stotch?"

"Aye aye, First Mate McCormick!" Butters gave it some gas, then pulled back on the throttle to ascend. Once they were at a steady altitude, he turned on the cruise control.

"Look," Kenny pointed. "We can see all of Imaginationland from up here."

"Willikers! First the balloon ride, and now we're flyin' our very own airplane!" Butters turned to his co-pilot, his eyes welling up with tears. "This is a dream come true." He lay his head on Kenny's shoulder, and Kenny pulled him close and kissed the top of his head with a smile.

…

Later after they landed, the two of them lay in the grass and stared up at the clear blue sky. "This has been the best day ever," Butters beamed. "I wish we never had to leave. There'd be no more bullying, no more grounding, no more problems ever again."

"Yeah, but we'd miss our friends."

"I know. It's nice to pretend we could sometimes, though."

"This _is _the perfect place for pretending."

"Hey, Kenny?"

"Hmm?"

"Why won't you tell me what happened between you and Eric?"

"It doesn't matter now, Butters. We're just not friends anymore."

"But what was so bad that it could've ended your friendship?"

"It wasn't any one thing. I guess not trying to make things better with me after my outburst was the last straw, but our friendship was deteriorating for a long time. I finally decided that if he didn't care enough to try to work on it, then I should just give up."

"Aw, gee, Kenny, that doesn't sound like you at all. You're the most forgiving person I know."

"There's only so much I should have to put up with. I can't do _all _the work."

"Well, I know Eric can be pretty difficult sometimes. Still, he must've felt awful knowin' his best friend doesn't even have faith in him anymore. As bad as things can get for us, we still have each other. Poor Eric doesn't have anybody now."

"He's done so many rotten things to you, and you still try to stick up for him?"

"Everybody needs someone to believe in them."

"Maybe they do," Kenny nodded and took his hand. "This is exactly why we can't stay in Imaginationland. The real world needs people like you to make it a better place. Promise me you won't ever change, Butters."

"As long as you're around, Kenny, I won't have any reason to." Butters closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep holding Kenny's hand.

He awoke to find himself back in his own bed that night. He looked down at his empty hand, already missing the familiar touch. "Thank you so much, Kenny," he smiled, "for everything."

* * *

I originally said Butters' picture was of him and Kenny riding a unicorn, but I just went back and looked at the episode again, and it _was _actually a plane they were flying. I edited the chapter where it's first mentioned and changed it to a plane, too.


	13. Stronger Than Pride

Well, we've finally come to the end of the story. Don't forget though, another sequel will be coming down the line. As the Nursery Fairy says in _The Velveteen Rabbit_, "There are no endings, only beginnings."

I got the idea for the name of this chapter from the song by Sade, which I don't own.

* * *

**_Stronger Than Pride_**

Stan's alarm clock woke him up early Saturday morning. He quickly got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed his teeth, and headed out the door. By the time this was over, he would either have the happiest day of his life, or the longest walk home in the world.

He nervously pressed his finger to the Harrisons' doorbell and heard it ring inside the house. He could hear the muffled sound of footsteps getting ever closer to the front door. There was no turning back now.

He saw the knob turn, and the door opened wide. In that moment, all he could see was Gary's cheerful face. "Stan!"

He couldn't help but smile at his angelic presence. "Hey, Gary."

"I saw you through the window. I didn't know you planned on coming over so early. I would have gotten dressed," he blushed a little.

Stan hadn't even noticed that Gary was still in his pajamas. "You look just fine to me," he shrugged.

"Come on in."

Stan stepped inside and Gary closed the door behind him. "So how was the play last night?"

"Well, it was definitely unique," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've never heard a story about Latter-Day Saints quite like _that_ before. But we can talk about it later. You had something important to tell me?"

"Yeah…maybe we should sit down."

"Is everything OK?" Gary asked as they sat on the sofa.

"Things haven't been OK since we started taking a break from each other."

"It's been hard for me too, Stan, but we agreed it was the right move."

"All I know is that you've become a huge part of my life, and it doesn't feel complete without you in it. I spent my time pleading, even getting my friends involved in raising money for the girls' List Club so I could get into their meeting and come out to Wendy in front of all of them."

Gary was stunned. "You actually told her you're gay? With other people around to hear it?"

"I had to swallow my pride and do exactly what I was trying to avoid from the beginning. But you know something? It was worth the risk, because it helped me find something that's stronger than pride."

"What's that?"

Stan grabbed Gary's hands. "It's what we have together. This is more than just a crush for me… I love you, Gary."

His eyes widened. "You love me?"

"I love everything about you—your smile; the way your hair is combed; how much you care about other people's well-being, even if they weren't that nice to you. I couldn't ask for anything more."

Gary bent down and began sniffling.

Stan could feel teardrops falling on his hands. "Are you all right? I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that," he looked up. "I've wanted to tell you that I love you for such a long time, but I was afraid of putting too much pressure on you after just barely coming to terms with who you are. Truth be told, I regretted making that suggestion for us to take time apart since day one."

"Then let's not be apart. I'm not satisfied with us just casually dating anymore. I'm ready to make it official… I want you to be my boyfriend."

Gary smiled as the tears continued to flow. "I want that too, Stan," he nodded.

Beaming, Stan leaned in and kissed his new boyfriend.

"Hooray!" the Harrisons cheered from the living room entryway.

Stan backed off with his lips still puckered. "Oh yeah…I forgot your family would be home."

"So what if it's a little embarrassing?" Gary shrugged. "Love is stronger than pride, remember?" he wrapped his arms around Stan's neck and pulled him close again to finish what they started.

…

Kenny had expected to find Cartman in his usual spot in front of the TV when he went to see him Sunday evening, but he was unprepared for the sight that met him. Candy wrappers and potato chip bags were strewn all over the couch and floor, and in the middle of it all sat a noticeably heavier young man chewing on a stick of taffy. Seeing Cartman like this bordered on scary. Kenny cleared his throat softly.

Cartman shut off the television and slowly turned his head. "What are you doing here?" he asked. His question contained no trace of his usual malice. All that was present was an uncharacteristic, subtle sadness.

"I thought you didn't care at all," Kenny stared in astonishment. "I never thought it would affect you this much."

"What is it, Kinny?" he asked impatiently.

"I shouldn't have given up so easily."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was so mad at you for not making an effort that I was ready to throw in the towel. I forgot what friendship is all about—a real friend never gives up on somebody."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Do you still have my BFF neck chain?"

"I didn't sell it, if that's what you're asking. It wouldn't be worth that much."

"Can I see it?"

Cartman sighed and reached into his coat pocket. He pulled out the chain and handed it to Kenny.

The blond boy put it around his neck.

"What are you doing?" Cartman asked.

"A wise person once said, 'Everybody needs someone to believe in them.' I'm wearing this to remind me never to give up on you. I still believe we can get back what we once had."

Cartman turned and stared at the blank TV screen.

Kenny walked to the door. "Please take care of yourself, Cartman. It's never too late to change. All you have to do is believe you can," he walked out.

Cartman could feel tears coming on. He instinctively reached for his taffy, but stopped short before putting it in his mouth. He looked around at the leftover trash from all the junk food he'd consumed, then looked at his reflection in the dark television set.

He pushed himself off the couch and made his way into the kitchen. He took one last look at the taffy before throwing it in the garbage. He then opened the refrigerator and took out an apple. Apprehensively, he brought it to his mouth and took a bite. _Hmm…not bad._

…

Two days later, on January 15th, Kyle stood and gave his special assigned oral presentation in honor of Martin Luther King's birthday. In order to appease Mr. Garrison, he made sure to get the comparatively trivial discussion of racial issues in television sitcoms out of the way first. However, he saved the most important and poignant section of his speech for last:

"Dr. King had a dream that his children could live in a country 'where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.' At the same time, I believe his dream of giving people a fair shot can be applied to all forms of diversity: be it your race…" he immediately thought of Token and the struggles he must deal with being the only black kid in South Park; "…religious beliefs…" he assumed most people would think he was referring to himself with that example, but he was thinking of Gary also; "…economic status…" Kenny and Token had both taken a lot of ribbing for being on either extreme of the financial ladder; "…or who you love…" Kyle thought of Stan and Gary's deeper commitment they've made, as well as Kenny and Butters' blossoming feelings for one another. "And while we still have a long way to go before this dream is fully realized, I believe Dr. King would be proud of just how far we've come."

The class clapped and cheered as Kyle took a bow and returned to his seat.

"Very good, Kyle," Mr. Garrison sounded impressed. "That was a nice touch with the 'who you love' part. What a pleasant surprise that you included me in your presentation."

The four intended subjects of that piece of the speech shared a knowing look among themselves.

When the final bell rang, all the kids ran out of the classroom to catch the bus, with five of them lagging a little behind. "So do you guys wanna go to the arcade?" Kyle asked.

"I dunno," Stan faltered. "I wanted to spend time with Gary today…you know, 'cause we're boyfriends now," he beamed.

"We know," Kenny rolled his eyes at hearing about their relationship status for the hundredth time.

"Dude," Kyle raised his eyebrows, "when I said _you guys_, I meant Gary, too."

Gary was surprised. "You actually _want _me to hang out with you?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we?"

"I thought you guys didn't like me."

"The new kid always has to get broken in first," Kenny explained. "You're one of us now," he patted him on the back.

"It ain't against the rules for Mormons to play video games, is it?" Butters asked genuinely.

"I don't think so," Gary chuckled happily.

"Sweet!" Stan shouted as they headed to the bus.

"You sure you'll be OK around all this _brotherly love_, Kyle?" Kenny teased.

"Are you kidding? The more you guys are into each other, the less competition I'll have. Girls will have no choice but to go for me," Kyle smirked.

"I dunno, Kyle," said Stan. "Kenny's bisexual, so there's still a chance he could stand in your way."

"Uh, excuse me," Kenny interjected. "I, my good sir, am _Buttersexual_."

"Yeah," Butters added. "If Kenny didn't want any of Tammy Warner's BJ's, then I don't think any girl would a chance with him."

"What?" Gary exclaimed in shock.

"Butters doesn't mean it like that," Stan assured him.

"Mean it like what?" Buttered wondered. "A BJ is a present, right?"

"The best kind of present," Kenny grinned seductively.

"Kenny!" Stan yelled. "Stop grossing out my boyfriend!"

"Seriously, dude," Kyle agreed. "You're gonna corrupt Butters for sure."

Their friendly banter continued onto the bus. What seemed completely normal to them was quite a sight for the other students to behold. After all, no outsider could understand what a quarterback, a Jew, a Mormon, a pervert and a Melvin would possibly have in common. But that was because those outsiders couldn't see beyond the confines of their self-appointed roles. Somehow, these five boys were doing what many deemed impossible at their age: they were mending the fences by tearing down the walls.

_THE END_

* * *

Sigh... This is definitely bittersweet. While I'm glad to have finished this story and am very happy with how it turned out, it also means that the time has come for me to take a break from writing fanfiction. It's been a really long time since I've done any work on my music, and I need to focus my concentration primarily on that for a while. But don't worry, I'm not leaving FF altogether. I'll still be around reading and reviewing other author's fics, as well as PM'ing with anyone who wants to. Also, I'm still beta-reading for the time being. And if I get a good idea for a one-shot, I'll make a little time to write and publish it.

Once again, thank you to everybody for coming along on this journey with me. I meant what I said about continuing this "Cynicism" saga, so I hope you'll all stick around for it when I have more time to write again. Thanks for making me feel so welcome.

_- Style Marshlovski_


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